I’m white (actually, Swedish) and I’ve dated a lot of hispanic men, and married one (my ex). My 2 children with him look more latino than me and also their last name is hyphenated mine-his and obviously hispanic. My little girl also has the very long, straight traditional latino hair (because her father doesn’t want it cut). But I don’t get too many questions since when people see me with my kids they often assume I’m a lighter skinned south american or something similar.

I’ve recently decided to try dating only white guys for a change (even though I really like the hispanic culture and oh, those sexy men!). I just felt I should face the facts that crossing cultural and racial backgrounds inevitably puts a strain on any relationship. And also that the ingrained machismo in that culture (that I experienced first-hand) is at heart clashing with my feminist ideals.

I figure: why not date men that I’m most likely to get along with?

Really interesting MC! Thanks for your open, honest comment.

When I first started to date, I only dated men of color. I was set on being with a man who looked like he “fit” into our family.

But after a couple of years, I realized how ludicrous and limiting I was being. Hence, my plunge into JDate… although to my surprise, there are some African American and biracial men on the Jewish dating site.

Any other women/men want to chime in about dating people of other races?

I’m so proud of you for being cautious with an anonymous blogger! YAY for you!

I have never dated outside my race, which is white. I also only date Jewish men. I think I would date someone who wasn’t white (never been asked) the likelihood is not high because I will only date Jewish men. I enjoy sharing culture and traditions with someone, sitting with a partner in Temple, sprinking our conversations with stories of Jewish mothers and Yiddish words. I don’t want to teach someone about that part of my world, I want them to be part of it.

I wonder what the cultural differences are with race. I’ve never experienced it. I have a feeling that I won’t.

OK, I did not answer any of your questions but I just wanted to chime in.

And, wish you and Mae a Happy New Year. See you in 5769!

Amy Nathan’s last blog post…In the beginning

My son is biracial but most people wouldn’t know it. My ex-husband is a light-skinned Guatemalan and my son looks exactly like him. He has the same features (broad nose, larger head, wide cheekbones) but red hair so most people wouldn’t identify him as Hispanic. In fact, I am never sure what to put on the forms. If we had had a darker-skinned child, like several of his sisters or mom, maybe I would put Hispanic? I don’t know. Before I got divorced and started dating again, I had always dated Spanish men. The reason was that I had immigrated from a majority-white country when I was in my teens and I identified with immigrants. The only other man I dated (okay, slept with) was from Cyprus so he fit the immigrant mold.

Now I’m not sure I would date another person outside my race or culture. My mother married a man from a different country and even though they were the same race, they have had many challenges there. She tried to tell me. Whether the person is a different religion or a different race, you just don’t realize how many things that touches. That said, I want my son to be raised to know his father’s background. That’s a bit hard because his father has left but I’ll pick up the torch if I need to.

My brother also has a biracial child (his son’s mother is African American). I’m sure he faces things but he doesn’t talk about it. My nephew’s mother lives in inner-city Baltimore so my nephew is raised in a heavily African-American area.

~ Meg

PT-LawMom’s last blog post…Fun with Palin

I’m multi-racical myself and have dated both white and black men. Because my family is comprised of Scottish-Irish and Spanish & Indian on one side and Portugese on the other, no one looks at color or limits potential mates because of it. (How can we?!) We jokingly call ourselves the United Nations. I was brought up to accept people for who they are and not judge by color or racial background. My parents were appalled when they came to the U.S. and found how prejudiced it is. And having multi-racial children can present its own set of problems. Yet it’s a beautiful thing. I say you should date whomever you’re attracted to. And if you choose to remain in your race that’s fine, but don’t judge others who make different choices! And shame on families who aren’t accepting of multi-racial children!

There are a lot of interracial couples in my family and in my social network, and I know from experience that these relationships can work if both people are accepting of their differences and celebrate them, rather than being embarassed by them. But again, it takes two.

By the way, regarding hair, most white women with multi-racial children often don’t know what to do with it and often leave it down, thinking the natural look is cute, while black women seeing children like this are often appalled. I’ve noticed that your latest pics of Mae are when she was younger. How is she wearing her hair now? And does she want to wear it down more as she gets older? Hair is a whole other subject! My daughter’s father is African American, so I can definitely relate!

Amy: Happy New Year to, you, too!

At the moment, I’m cutting up apples… and responding to blog comments.

LEM: Thanks for sharing your story, you were on my mind when I wrote this post.

Mae only wears her hair pulled back now, in a pony tail, with a headband. That’s her style these days.

Yes, when she wore it out, I often had African American strangers approach me: “Call me, I’ll braid her hair.”

No one ever seemed appalled — but they seemed concerned about my ability to take care of her hair.

How does your daughter wear her hair these days?

I’m black and my husband (soon to be ex-husband) is white. My son is biracial. He is 3 years old. We live in the bay area of California so no one seems phased by it at all. No one in my family seemed to notice or mention it when I started to date my husband. I don’t specifically date any race–I feel I eliminate possiblities when I narrow down race.

My ex husband is black. He’s actually mixed, and his parents were married in 1958 - in Iowa. It wasn’t legal in the community they lived in, so they eloped to Chicago. He is light skinned, and my daughter appears “white” to white people. Black folks know. My son is more clearly ethnic, so that presents an interesting dilemma for me.

When I filled out the forms for Seattle public schools I had to face the “Please Check One”. Well… you *could* check two if you pleased, but only the first will be recorded. Also, if you don’t report an ethnicity, one will be supplied to you by the district (and presumably, it won’t be East Asian, or Filipino - presumably it will be white.)

I have a degree in African American studies. And me - - a white working class girl, my Dad was an auto mechanic. I simply became fascinated early in college with the history, and the culture, and the heritage - long before I dated outside my race. So I’m used to navigating those really tough boundaries.

Now? Now I’m dating a middle class white guy from Cleveland. I have no idea how that happened, but there he was, and I began to love him. I have had grief lately - - a sense of my kid’s sense of ethnicity being something that can just evaporate. And I need to nurture and protect it. I feel unsuited to the task.

Also, my daughter only wants “pulled back with the headband” too these days - 2nd grade.

Hmmm…where to begin? My daughter is also multi-racial: Jewish, African-American and Native American. She’s very proud to claim all three and doesn’t see one race more than the other. She also has beautiful, thick, kinky hair which is now always pulled in a pony tail. She’s in first grade and absolutely hates being in the spotlight–hence, the pony tail.

When I was in my very early 20’s–I had this thought I had to experience dating a man outside of my Jewish culture before I die (no, I wasn’t suicidal–just extremely young, not really understanding that I had a long, long road ahead of me)—so I met my then husband who was African-American with strong Native American blood. It didn’t work out—there are too many reasons to put down. Both families were extremely accepting of our relationship–and both sides love my daughter equally.

I have bi-racial kids! We call them coloured here!

Kiara draws crowds with her hair too! She has this mass of curls that is very very pretty! BUT a nightmare to maintain. My mother refuses to use any ethnic products on it and it has taken hundreds of rands and hundreds of attempts to find the RIGHT hair care for her! And we have no convinced her to wear it tied up - she used to leave it down and would look like the wild women of Borneo!

Mixed couples are still pretty “new” in South Africa. It was actually illegal up until 1994.

So we do get stares and comments but surprisingly more from people of colour. I often get asked “Is their dad black?” and the kids at their school often ask me why I am white and they are brown.

My family accepted my ex - some not as openly but it was never really an issue for them!

Laura’s last blog post…Heartbeat

Yes, Rachel! Multi-racial is more accurate for my children, too. It IS a mouthful.

Strangers are ALWAYS feeling their hair, too. As my son started to get older (he’s 7 now, daughter is 10 mos), he found it irritating and predictable. I just explained to him that God has given him many gifts and his hair is one of them.

Sometimes, I’m mistaken for the nanny. I find it humorous.

My family has always been very cool about the interracial dating issue. I’m glad your grandmother realized what was important.

I’m single now, but it’s usually white men who ask me out 98% of the time. I’ve been told by a few Black men (and a few White too) that I don’t act Black enough. I guess that means that I missed Headrolling 101, Grills 102, and Loud Talk 098

I’m a low maintenance, nappy haired, makeup-free (unless I feel the urge), creative, barefooted, mommy who really loves all that she is

I love Mae’s hair in that pic!

NappyKitchen’s last blog post…Gravatars

The first step to caring for nappy, napptural, natural hair is to change your mind set about it.

1. Embrace it.
2. Realize that it needs just a few things to be healthy and thrive: Keep it clean, conditioned, and regularly trimmed.
3. These should be your best friends: A. your fingers B. a wide tooth comb C. a spray bottle of distilled water
4. These should be your daughters best friends: praise and affirmations FROM YOU about how beautiful and desirable her hair is.

Oh, by the way, please do not use hair grease or anything with petroleum or petrolatum in it. (They are in most Black haircare products as a cheap way to ’stretch’ the quantity of the products). They do NOT moisturize the hair, they actually dries it out. Yes, I realize that this is exactly what most Black people, ever beauticians will tell you to use.

And for the love of Fred Sanford and JJ Evans, please do not use a relaxer on your daughter’s hair.

I’ll let you in on a little secret. When I went natural, I did not have a clue (like most Black people) how to take care of my hair. I had to educate myself and weed out the myths.

My mom still believes that hair grease is good for the hair and helps it to grow. Hair grease, in her opinion, is second only to Jesus and the Apostles

I beg to differ. lol

NappyKitchen’s last blog post…Gravatars

My son’s father is originally from the West Indies (African descent) and my son gets the pats on the head all the time from people loving his hair.

He’s had longish hair (dreads), but now has short hair. We had to cut it recently because of head lice.

I’ve also had interesting questions like ‘where’s he from’, ‘is he adopted’.

My family has always been good with him and not made any comments about his racial background. When my son was born mum bought me a teddy bear mum and baby and the baby was a darker colour than the mother bear.

jen’s last blog post…First day of holidays

I feel that I have to share this amazing–yet–natural and healthy product (and delicious smelling too!) designed just for children who have “multi-racial” hair. It’s never been tested on animals either! My daughter and I LOVE it–it doesn’t have any petroleum in it….

Curly Q’s
http://www.curls.biz/curly-hair-products/curly-hair-products-curly-q-for-kids.html

It’s interesting that so much of ethnicity is tied up in hair!

Here’s something I didn’t expect, and I’m not sure quite how to deal with it:

Recently my 9 yo (hispanic) daughter got intrigued by the “style” of the many Muslim girls at her school, and she wanted to go to school wearing a headscarf!

Not having time that morning for a long lecture on religious practices that circumscribe women’s dress and actions, I just let it go thinking I would deal with it later.

My daughter apparently got bored with the inconvenience and abandoned the scarf soon after arriving at school. Although she hasn’t tried this again, I am thinking I need to discuss this with her sometime!

In addition at school, some of her friends in our neighborhood dress this way. I’m happy that my daughter doesn’t think it’s unusual or discriminate against these girls. But I don’t want her to be disrespectful to their religion by wearing a garment that makes a religious statement simply for “style”. (also, I personally am very much against what I see as the anti-woman associations of the scarf and of the fundamentalist Islamic sects).

Any suggestions about how to talk about this with my daughter? Has anyone else had this come up?

Eathan is a cool dude. It’s too bad you won’t be talking sex, he’s got some interesting perspective there and I think you too could have a nice dialogue.

I’m mixed, Asian and Irish. I caught a lot of shit for being “Asian” looking when I was growing up, but that’s turned into a positive now that I’m older…it’s an exotic look, which I leverage heavily in dating. I don’t identify which Asian culture much, though, so the reality is I’m totally Americanized.

I’m attracted to white women primarily, although I’ve dated Latin American and I’m attracted to them too. Bizarrely, I’m not attracted to Asian women AT ALL, even the hottest ones. I think it’s a hormonal thing.

Lance’s last blog post…Calling All Bloggers! Let’s Talk Virgins!

Nappy Kitchen offers some great advice for dealing with the hair issue. My daughter is also the subject of conversation because while her hair is coarse, it’s very long and thick. People look at her and know that she’s black due to her complexion, but African Americans in particular wonder “what else” she is due to her hair which is some of mine mixed with some of my ex’s.

And SMS, I’ve gotten offers of assistance (as well as more harsh comments!), because I am not an expert on hair braiding and often her hairstyles are ones I’ve made up when experimenting. But I don’t worry about it, because like you, I have a beautiful child, and hair is only one small element of her beauty.

MC,
My suburb was predominantly white (Jewish) until recently, when there are more Asians, Hispanics, and various other cultures than ever. I love this aspect of it because I never wanted my daughter to grow up around only one type of people. I went to a predominantly white, prestigious private school beginning in kindergarten, but when I turned 16 I finally asked my parents if I could transfer to the public school because I felt I was missing out on other cultures and experiences. To this day most of my close friends are Jewish, but I have friends of several different races.

You should use the Muslim children to set the stage for conversations about ethnic and cultural differences. it’s great that your daughter is accepting so far and doesn’t discriminate; you definitely want to promote her healthy thoughts on the subject.

Thanks for this great topic, SMS!

Legal editor, thanks for the advice. I do talk a lot with my kids about ethnic and cultural differences, and they think it’s cool–the diversity in themselves and others. So with that I guess I’ve been successful.

But I’m conflicted about how much (and if?) I should convey to my daughter at this point the strong negatives towards women that I strongly feel are associated with fundamental islamic and associated cultural practices?

I don’t want her to start talking about it with her friends, to tell them (or think to herself) they’re “bad”, or for her to start discriminating against them!!

Naturally, it’s not appropriate to discuss FGM with a 9 year old, although it is a real problem for the muslim girls (some of them are her friends) in my town’s primarily immigrant lower socioeconomic islamic community.

(BTW I do not believe that the islamic religion is necessarily repressive, however, the fundamentalist version of islam and the culture associated with the lower socioeconomic immigrants from africa in my community definately is.)

One of my side passions as a med school professor is to encourage diversity in my profession, and for many years I’ve directed an outreach program to encourage diverse (including mostly islamic immigrant and hispanic) men and women to enter careers and research and medicine. There is a huge need for culturally sensitive medical care and research to serve these underserved communities.

But for the muslim girls it is so hard for them to overcome their cultural restrictions. They have brothers and uncles and fathers who limit their activities and who eventually forbid them to attend more schooling or even to attend classes alone. I know several very gifted young women who really wanted to study medicine but had to drop their career plans because of pressure by their families to get married (arranged) and of course, to stop their education entirely at that point. I do feel that these views are in general very wrong and are specifically repressive of women.

So how do I explain all this to my daughter without creating in her discrimination against this group of people? Sorry, I’m stuck.

MC, that’s a really fascinating story about your daughter asking to wear a head scarf.

My first gut response is: invite these Muslim girls over for a play date. Is your daughter close to one or two of them? Simply let them see your life, and the way that your daughter is treated at home… This in itself is a lesson.

Are these girls allowed to go to a friend’s home after school? (I remember the very strict rules girls had to follow when I visited Morocco.)

If they can just come over to play and have a snack at your home… they will probably grow to trust you, and you will start to develop relationships. Yes?

Singlemom, Good idea, but I’m not sure where to go with it!

The girls (and their brothers!) are often at my house…I think this is OK with their parents because they are young. (One older girl who used to play with my daughter every day, turned 13 and now we never see her.) I think they are also comfortable coming over because they know that there aren’t any adult males living at my house (only my young son). Many of them live only a few blocks away, and our kids play together almost every night, mostly riding around outside on their bikes, collecting rocks, playing baseball in the street–kid stuff. And let me tell you, they are very fond of fruit juice and popcorn (and my kids’ ridiculous number of toys)! But they always politely refuse to stay for dinner.

I’m fine with modeling respectful interactions for the children. But I feel uncomfortable about trying to “gain their trust” for the purpose of undermining their parents’ teachings. Although probably I shouldn’t be, given my convictions! (yes, I’m the stereotype of a bleeding heart liberal, always 2nd guessing my own actions.)

I would be more comfortable with trying to influence their mothers. But while their moms they sometimes knock on my door (usually to ask, is little Zainab/Mohammed here? or would it be possible to borrow construction paper for the required school homework project?), they invariably refuse to come in (albeit very politely). I am not sure what the problem is but possibly they are shy and unsure about their English.

I Date White? What a horrible, horrible name for a show… Two happy people, white, black, purple with yellow polka dots, men, women, that’s all you need.

My daughter is bi-racial, but people don’t usually know unless they are told. She’s more tan than I am (which isn’t saying much, I’m a pale Irish girl), and she has beautiful, thick, wavy hair, but that’s about it.

Her father has other kids who have hair like Mae’s, and while it’s beatiful, I have to admit I’m grateful that hers turned out more like mine, since I wouldn’t have any idea what to do with it if it was like her dad’s.

My immediate family knows Casey’s dad is black, but it’s not something we readily admit to the rest of the family. That’s more my parents’ wishes than mine. They worry that she would be treated differently, but I don’t think she would. I would never EVER tell her to lie about her heritage, nor would I do so myself. The subject simply hasn’t come up.

I teach her to be proud of everything that she is, and that love is a beautiful thing, no matter what form it comes in.

Kelly’s last blog post…Dessert Night

I’m muliti-racial and married a hispanic. My kids always knew their heritage and are proud of it. My family is the United Nations. Growing up my mother always told us that it didn’t matter the color of a person’s skin, as long as they were good to us and we were happy. Growing up I grew up in NY (the melting pot) so it was never this big thing as to why we looked different?! It was never a big issue to me, growing up with a loving mom and dad, we never saw the differences.

I’m French Canadian and the proud mother of a multi-ethnic child. Her hair has always been tough to work with because the black people in her life want to slather it with grease, which since it is so much of my hair it can’t handle. So she has beautiful big curls, and our compromise is that she gets it cut short in the summertime so that swimming, beach, etc. don’t mat it all up. We let it grow during the school year with the understanding that if she cares for it well, combing thru it regularly, she can let it get long again. Living in Maine, there are actually more children of interracial relationships than you’d think, so she has other kids that “look like her”. Some days she’s mentioned that she wished she was white like me, but I take her hand and tell her that she is the heart and the best parts of both her father and I. I show her that the pale side of the hand is mommy’s side, and the tan part is daddy’s. She is the embodiment of two people who genuinely loved each other for a long time (we are no longer together). She is excited about it, and we joke that all her pale parts belong to mommy. When she was first born we got lots of comments on her poof of hair..it was over 2 inches long when she came out! A few older ladies with bad sight thought I’d adopted, but as she’s grown older it is undeniable that she sprang from my loins. She may have inherited the curls and the tan from her dad, but the rest is a carbon copy of me. Mini Me. LOLOL. She is well loved by everyone in the family, and has never yet experienced any type of hate directed at her race, or hair. For the record, braiding hair like my daughter’s is FOLLY. It’s like braiding a white person’s hair. Two weeks is about all it will last before it’s whacked. Many black people fail to recognize that while the hair may be curly, it is often not the same texture whatsoever, and they are as much at a loss to deal with it as the white folk.

Wow, Kelly, I never knew that your daughter was biracial! I wonder when she’ll start asking about her culture. Mae has recently started to ask more questions. I plan to write more about this.

Dot, this brought tears to my eyes, thank you:
“I take her hand and tell her that she is the heart and the best parts of both her father and me….She is the embodiment of two people who genuinely loved each other for a long time.”

SMS, YES, please do write more about this! How wonderful that you have such a large following who can relate to these issues.

Dot’s story touched me, as well, and I wholeheartedly agree on the braiding. I refuse to let my daughter’s hair get braided in too small braids, ’cause it’s a nightmare to get them out! She has fits, so it’s so much easier to let her and her hair be free!

SMS, yep! If you go to my website you can see her picture a few posts in.

Kelly’s last blog post…Dessert Night

Well, you know I’ve been thinking about a book on this subject. As you know, my son’s mother is hispanic. I am black. He has AWESOME hair. He is the most beautiful kid I have ever seen. I guess I am not surprised because I have NEVER seen a bi-racial child that wasn’t just gorgeous (and that includes your kid, R!). Anyway, as far as dating outside my race, as I said earlier, my son’s mother is hispanic. My first wife was white (it lasted 5 years). I haven’t “been out” with a woman that is my race this decade, though I don’t think at first it was a conscious thing. You know, I went to a black college in Texas, had black girlfriends, had crushes on black girls. But then, when I started working in my current profession, I didn’t see that many black women, and being an equal opportunity dater, so to speak, I went out with whomever I got along with, regardless of race. I suspect, if I am honest with myself, that perhaps I’ve always leaned toward white/hispanic/asian women even as a kid growing up. I just didn’t know it.

Kevin’s last blog post…3:25 marathon running 3 days a week?

Vinnie, I hear you about the name of Eathan’s site, “I Date White.”

But I guess that’s his point? To be controversial and make people curious.

Eathan?

Wow there are so many great comments on this topic. There are a lot of multi-cultural and multi-racial children of the world. It creates challenges, education and discussions.

@Lance - thanks for the compliment. I talk about all kinds of things..not always sex.

I hope everyone listens to the show. There will be a lot of great dialog.

I have very diverse family and I have enjoyed a diverse dating life also. For everyone that is offended by the name of my site, don’t be. It’s catchy. It’s a sticks in your mind. (marketing genius)

No doubt it was meant to controversial and my guess is many people would visit just to see but I’m the opposite, the name turned me right off.

The father of my daughter is multi-racial (African American and Caucasian) and I am Caucasian. Our daughter looks like my ethnicity and has very straight hair and big blue eyes, although she does have a bit of an olive complexion. Most people cannot tell that she is multiracial. When she was a baby, people would ask why she was so “tan”. I found it offensive because it seemed they didn’t even consider her to be multi-racial. When I would tell them that she was African American they would seem very confused. My daughter’s father is always telling her that she is African American and she often announces it to others. When she does, people seem dumbfounded because she appears Caucasian. I really don’t like being put in the position of explaining “what” she is. She’s my daughter and that is all that really matters. I do however want her to know her culture, but I consider that to be family business. I don’t really like filling in boxes of her ethnicity since I don’t want her to be a part of anyone’s statistics or quotas. When faced with boxes, I prefer to put other when multi-racial isn’t available.

My family is a trip. Although they welcomed my daughter’s father (the past tense is only because he is an ex now) into our family, but when it comes to identifying their granddaughter’s race, that is a different story. I guess they feel she can “get by” as the dominant race and that seems to be important to them. I don’t really understand their way of thinking, but that is a whole story within itself.

When it comes to dating, I have always been attracted to multi-racial men. However, I don’t date much these days, but now I seem to consider someone to “fit” more with our family. I guess I want someone to look like they could be her father even though my tendency is to date men of color. That said, in the big picture, it really doesn’t matter what my guy “is” or looks like, only that he has enough love for both me and my daughter because we are a package deal.

One thing I always try to clarify for people, when they assume that I “only date black” is that I don’t do the racial profiling thing. I know that there are women out there who will ONLY go for black, but I just like MEN. That my past few relationships have been men who happen to be black only says that they were the men that appealed to me, and would still have appealed to me regardless of race because I essentially really liked the attributes that were inside them. They were intelligent, funny, thoughtful, fantastic lovers, even better friends, and all around good guys. That’s what I look for in a man, and he may be white, or in this case he may be black. My current beau and I have so much in common it is scary, and that appealed to me because my last relationship, which broke up this year after 5 long wonderful years was a time full of opposites. But I guess my difference that I want to really stress with all this is that I date this man not because he is a black man, but because he is a great man, and he also happens to be black.

I find that it is hard enough to find a decent person to share a life with. If I started cutting people out based on race I’d be limiting myself even further. So - the race thing - doesn’t bother me at all. I think people struggle more from socio economic differences than from race.

And as for the hair. My husband and I are both pasty white. And even though both of us have wavy hair - for now little Sadie’s is straight as a poker. Although she has a lot of it - and I don’t look forward to the morning brush through. So hats off to those of you who have little ones with more complicated tresses. I don’t know if my patience could handle it. Just last week Sadie had something sticky in her hair. I find this 5 minutes before we need to leave for preschool. She is whining even more than usual about me combing. So in one of my “bad mommy moments” I just quietly pulled out the scissors and snipped that little bit out before she noticed.

Amy’s last blog post…Journal 107: September 2008 "Lastday"

“I Date White?” I agree, it’s a horrible name. Based on the name, I wouldn’t every watch it. It sounds like some kind of neo-nazi race purity rant, ugh.

I have an 11 month old son who is beautifully bi-racial. His father and I broke up when I was 7 months pregnant and tries (not very hard) to be a part of his life. I haven’t figured the whole hair thing out bit no worries…he’s got these gorgeous curls and I think we can wait until he is much older to worry about such things. I am not sure how I will do with the different culture things that may come up but I do know that I have the support of many friends and families and will find my way!

Regarding the HAIR issue, I know it can be challenging. I agree with the post NOT to use products with petroleum. There is a product line out there called Carol’s Daughter it’s for natural hair AND the products are all natural. You may have heard of it-Will & Jada Pinkett Smith invested in the company, Brad & Angelina use it on Zahara’s hair-their African Daughter. More importantly–I (single mom of an african american boy) use it on my son’s hair–he has think, wooly, curly hair, looks similar to Mae’s hair-just a little thicker. I like the Mimosa Hair Honey its great for keeping his hair moisturized. Try it and let me know what you think

Hi everyone. I have three children, ages 9, 7, and 7 months. My first two are by my ex-husband, who is Colombian. I am Black. My last is by my ex-fiance, who is Mexican. I live in Los Angeles, CA. Here, it seems to be a melting pot of ethnicities,however do any of you ever come across haters who stare?? When my first 2 were young, it would be the Black women breaking their necks to get a glimpse of my baby, who I felt so inclined to protect and cover, like the paparazzi was trying to snap a picture. I hated that with a passion because they would then turn to their friends and start gossiping or snickering. This would only happen when me and their dad were out together, otherwise people wouldn’t bother to gawk like that. Because of this issue that I dealt with, I understood where Halle Berry and her honey were coming from. They didn’t want to sell any pictures and they didn’t start taking Nahla out until recently. Everyone wants to see the mixed baby, see if it’s cute and all that….I totally understand how she felt protective. Heaven knows I did.

I still date outside of my race. For some reason, Hispanic men seem to be more attracted to me than anything, so I have gotten used to that and it’s just my preference now. But honestly, I will date any race. I don’t see love as a color, never have. My parents and family never once told me to stay within my race. So, i’ve never endured the cold shoulder like some of you have.

Rachel i’m curious (and anyone can answer this, really), what do you think about men leaving their pregnant girlfriends, wives, fiances? Mine left when I was 4 months and….God it’s a long story and I will be happy to tell you about it, but i’m just curious what the rest of you think of men who do that and then come back wanting you to forgive them. And before you ask…no I didn’t forgive him. The stress he put me under resulted in me delivering a premature baby, amongst other things. Haven’t seen him since June…

I’ve dated all around the board and I’ve had different situations with each culture. My daughter is Caucasian/African American and my grandmother made such a big deal out of me having a biracial daughter when I was pregnant that it marred our relationship for about a year, but after she finally met my daughter, she welcomed us with opened arms (and gave me a nice down payment on a house to ease her guilt). Currently I’m dating a wonderful man who is East Indian and is a single dad who adopted his son from Guatemala, so if this relationship ends up where I hope it does, we’ll be one very multi-cultural family. I look forward to it. About 3 months into the relationship, he got nervous about his mother’s reaction to my daughter and tried to break up with me which hurt me tremendously, but he showed up at my house the next day with flowers, a card and professing his love…which he had not done yet, so it had an impact. I let him back in and his mother adores my daughter. He was surprised by his mother’s reaction because she wants him to marry inside his race. I just hope she notices how happy I make him and that she loves her son enough to just want him to be happy.

Molly wants long, straight, blonde hair which drives me crazy. Right now she will only let me pull it back in a ponytail or pigtails. I want to find out what kind of oil to use on her hair because a Puerto Rican friend is going to show me how to braid it. I just don’t know what to put in it so it won’t break. She has soft, very curly ringlets. Any suggestions?

I am latino and grew up in a town in the TX panhandle where the majority of the people are white with a few latino families here and there. My father is light skinned with green eyes but my mother is very dark and has what she called mullato hair. I never considered the fact that she was black because we were always latino and where we grew if you spoke spanish you were mexican.
In college I dated a black girl and the first time she met my parents she stated that she didnt know I was half. Truthfully I didnt know either.
My sister married an black man and they have four children. Their daughter is dark with no sign of being mixed and one of thier boys is very light with blue eyes. The other two looked mixed.
I too married a black woman and we have a 15 month old daughter who looks excactly like my mom. I guess my point is that in the end we are all mixed.

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