Just put on your big girl panties and deal with it

by singlemomseeking on August 10, 2008

So, there I was at the BlogHer Newbie soirée, when I found myself sharing appetizers with a gorgeous woman named Tomima Edmark.

Thirty seconds into our conversation, she said: “I’m a single mom, too!”

Actually, Tomima (whose Scottish name rhymes with “Jemima” but with a “T”) is so much more: she runs two successful companies–  HerRoom.com and HisRoom.com. So, I got Tomima’s card and promised to catch up post-BlogHer.

“After having a child, I was wearing those granny panties,” Tomima says. “Women often dumb down their fashion when they’re pregnant, and they have to pull themselves out of it after having a child.”

The same could be true after going through a divorce, or a disappointing break up. Those frumpy panties certainly can’t make you feel better.

Unfortunately, even years after their divorce or split, many women are still wearing granny underwear. On the one hand, it’s understandable: fancy new panties are pricey!

But Tomima says that sexy underwear doesn’t have to be expensive. “Besides, if you’re on the dating scene, you have to be ready,” she adds.

She shares a trick she learned from Tyra Banks: “I always wear high cut briefs. Tyra said, the skimpier the bathing suit, the skinnier you look. The same is true for panties.”

Tomima also explains the basics of women’s sizes: “A small is a size 5, a medium is size 6, and a large is a size 7. When you get panties that are too large, they’ll get loose and creep up.”

And thongs? “No one wants to wear a thong all day. A thong is good for a night time date, so you feel sexy.”

How about Tomima’s favorite brand for men? The number one designer brand 2xist.

“Men often get stuck in a rut of buying those three packs of white underwear from Walmart,” says Tomima. “But they need to upgrade, too! Please, no more $6 Hanes underwear. And guys should steer clear of of white. They look like goobers when they finally get their magic moment. Men, buy black or gray. Black also makes you look thinner.”

Here’s the contest. Tomima has offered to give away one free pair of women’s and men’s underwear to one single mom and one single dad.

Tell us: What is your favorite brand of underwear… and why? Don’t be shy.

Personally, my favorite style is the boyshort panties, like LuLus.

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{ 31 comments… read them below or add one }

perino February 25, 2009 at 2:09 pm

ok..here is my opinion from a man’s point of view…I never wear cotton undies and women should never wear cotton panties..I like anything nylon or microfiber.i like bikinis or boxer briefs cause I need a home for my boys..cotton boxers are UGLY and not sexy and uncomfortable..you gals are so lucky because you have so much to choose from..we men have to suffer in silence


mamapaloma August 21, 2008 at 10:19 pm

Bonds low-rise boy leg briefs in black. Australia’s answer to Jockey or Hanes…and so much cooler. The low rise makes ’em work with my going out jeans. The cotton makes ’em comfy and washable. The boy leg makes them quite sexy, or so I have been told.


ladystacy August 20, 2008 at 10:31 am

My underwear drawer has seen some sad times. So had my ex! I started buying nice bras & panties after we were through, though I’m still convinced that my collection of granny panties and sports bras were not to blame for our break-up….

Unless I’m wearing a thong, most panties I’ve found give me not only leave the dreaded panty line, but 4 cheeks. I have a hard time finding the perfect fit for what has been refered to as my ‘booty’. My first choice for sexy is lace hipsters. Lace doesn’t squeeze, it hugs. They sit nicely on my hips … and hips I have!! For everyday wear, I found a style called low-rise briefs. I can’t tell you the brand, but I actually found them at walmart. They cover the entire booty, reduce jiggle, and fit my curves to a T. 90% nylon, 10% spandex – I excused myself to go to the washroom to get that information… White or black and my bra always matches. I feel sexy in them, and my current boyfriend assures me I look as I feel ….


soccermom August 14, 2008 at 12:00 pm

Oh, I almost forgot to explain the sadness in my current underwear! I have too many pairs of jeans that are low-rise, and I swear I always buy low-rise underwear…why then, am I still having to tuck them in in the back? I understand my tuck-in in the front (I’m all of 5ft tall and normally around 100 pounds, but during pregnancy grow to almost 150 pounds…all of that went straight out since there is no height on me, so after 3 pregnancies of this the skin will not come back…thus the tuck in-of skin-in the front!), but what’s up with the low-rise underwear not working with the low-rise jeans?


soccermom August 14, 2008 at 11:55 am

After my divorce I lost all kinds of weight due to the stress! I joke to all that it’s the best diet ever! I bought new sexy underwear because I knew I was looking good in them. Lacy ones from Victoria’s Secret, See-through ones (I’d never worn those in all 10 years of marriage!), and even a few matching bra and panty sets. Though, I live in a land of much less money then you all are talking about and so most of this was still Walmart! =) Now I’m feeling better about life and so the pounds are coming back on(that and the help of the pill!). So, the underwear are getting less sexy. Thanks for this post, it reminds me to not go back “there” (which is granny-panty-land!). I’m getting up from this computer and having a serious heart-to-heart with my underwear drawer! I only wish I could talk brands with everyone else, but as a single Mom who is doing what it takes to stay at home with 3 young children and put myself through school, name brands are not in the picture for me right now. Luckily if I’m just careful I can swing a few of Walmarts best pairs!! (The kids didn’t really need the organic cereal this week, did they!?)


randommsugirl August 14, 2008 at 11:47 am

Calvin Klein makes some great microfiber underwear with matching bras (that sometimes even come in patterns. . in D cup!). I cannot emphasize how good it feels to strut your stuff in a matching bra and panties set, even if it is only to the mailbox or dry cleaners!


dan August 13, 2008 at 10:48 am

Usually black/grey/white boxer briefs…I’m not a slave to one brand or another but the majority are CK because I like the fit…although I’m starting to drift towards Hanes now…their quality and fit are fantastic now…far more comfortable than the CKs…nice looks for a good price.


Lance August 12, 2008 at 8:56 pm

Yea panties! I love panties!

Personally, I wear nothing but tiger striped bikini’s. The fuzzy kind.


Tom August 12, 2008 at 6:03 pm

As I guy, I can say I’m all for new sexy panties. On my wife, of course. On me, these days it’s Under Armour tight boxers, in black. Sexy, and they keep the boys happy.


Keisha August 12, 2008 at 4:42 pm

Anything made of microfiber is great, very comfortable. I prefer the low bikini cut or thong. VS, New York and Company carries the ones I love.


Legal Editor Mom August 12, 2008 at 8:17 am

I do have a few shabby pairs, but when I buy new ones, the not so shappy ones become the “special” ones for the visitor, and the really shabby ones then get trashed!

The Rio is especially great if you like a little extra support. (They are high cut and have a thick elastic band around the waist that I feel keeps me firm and in place. ;-)It’s like wearing a girdle for those who may need it, but much more comfortable…) Plus they don’t ride. They stay put all day/night!

I love the look & idea of boyshorts, but don’t they move? I cannot stand underwear that creeps up my butt!


Michelle August 11, 2008 at 11:31 pm

Another confession…now admit it girls…don’t ya’ll have a few holey, shabby, almost falling apart panties that are special for only when Aunty M comes visiting every month?? OK, OK, more info than you wanted to know! :)


singlemomseeking August 11, 2008 at 9:35 pm

Jennifer, you practically have me on the floor…. thanks for that one.

Judy: panty hose with garters, you are daring!

T: I’m sure the men here agree about makin’ the ass look good.

Thanks for the input guys!


judy August 11, 2008 at 8:47 pm

I live among thongs,(they don’t ride up) lace bikinis (no extra buncy material) and an occasional silk boxer. When panty hose are in order they are attached to garters…..


Jennifer August 11, 2008 at 4:36 pm

I have never even tried a thong. I lurve Cacique by Lane Bryant. They may be granny panties, but they never roll down.

Except…last week when I wore them with pantyhose. I’m walking down 2 city blocks and the pantyhose AND underware are rolling down…right off my ass. If the business had been any further, well, my business might have been showing!

Talk about a confession!


T August 11, 2008 at 1:33 pm

Girl, I love the title of this post. I tell myself that daily!!

I heart Victoria Secret boy shorts and their cheeky panties as well. Anything to make the ass look good! I’m sayin’!


restaurantrefugee August 11, 2008 at 12:07 pm

Jockey stopped making my favorite style several years ago – a long biker short cut with a horizontal pouch. Now I am partial to drawstring boxer briefs from Champion.


singleparentdad August 11, 2008 at 11:27 am

Can’t really say I’ve gone underwear shopping for a pick-me-up. But more sexy panties a woman has the better! :)

I prefer boxer briefs myself because of the way they fit around my thighs. I do own some 2xist but prefer the fit of calvin or even champion.


dadshouse August 11, 2008 at 9:57 am

I love hot panties on a woman – thongs used to be tops with me, but I like the boyshorts on a woman these days. Wow. And I’ve had girlfriends who wore thongs all day long, and loved them – they didn’t just wear them for me.

Granny panties are the worst! I don’t see how a woman feels sexy in them. And you can feel sexy for yourself without a man in the picture – if you feel sexy and confident you’ll likely turn more heads.

As for my own undergarments – boxers are super comfy. Solid color or plaid, never white. Some girlfriends like me in boxer briefs, and I’m happy to oblige.


Amanda Castaneda August 11, 2008 at 9:47 am

Oh my goodnes…my underwear drawer is sad, sad, sad. Living on a budget as a single mom I can never bring myself to spend much on underwear and I have to admit I stretch their lifetime past the limit. After reading this post I need a boost! I really want to get back in the dating world but I guess I must buy new undies first! Whoa true confessions on a Monday morning!


The Exception August 11, 2008 at 9:22 am

Panache – sexy, fun, and flirty. That is my designer of choice for those moments when I want to feel my sexiest. Oh, and Jezebel – they have some great sexy and sensual styles and fabrics as well.

I have yet to find a great designer for boy shorts – but I am always looking as sometimes they are exactly what the day requires!

And during the summer – boy shorts and a tank (no bra) is the best way to relax. I love hot summer evenings for that reason!


Lori August 11, 2008 at 9:15 am

LOL I agree..I think all of us women have done the frumpy. That has been one of my missions as a single Mom, rev up my ‘unspeakables’!! There is nothing wrong with a pair of cute high cotton panties either.

Boxer briefs on men, love it!!! Totally agree with you on the no white! Yuck!


singlemomseeking August 11, 2008 at 7:33 am

Michelle, I think we’ve all done the frumpy granny panties post-child… well, I can’t speak for EVERYONE!

LEM: I’m going to check out Rio!

Laura: I love the fact that you have a “date set.” Great idea.

Amy: I’m going to wave my magic wand…

BlueBella: You go sexy mama!

5Ks: Here’s to NO whitey titeys! Yes, Tomima did say that boxer briefs are a great thing.


littlemansmom August 11, 2008 at 7:32 am

Eeeeeek! Whatever do you mean no one wears thongs all day long? That’s the ONLY kind of undies I do wear! LOL….They are the most comfortable for me. I can’t stand the riding up, the ‘smile’ the ‘droop’, the ‘tuck-under'(for those of us who still have a little bit of a pouch). Thongs have been my saving grace in the ‘undies-world’ LOL


5ksandcabernets August 11, 2008 at 6:52 am

Uh, well, Id say I like, if you can believe it, Old Navy’s boxer briefs. Black. I havent had a pair of “whitey titeys” since before I went to college.


BlueBella August 11, 2008 at 6:43 am

I’ve recently been having to ‘upgrade’ my undergarment collection as being pregnant has made me quite a bit more supple . . .but I can safely say I’m going to always be a thong girl during the day (no horrid panty lines!) with an underwire push-up for work, but at night as soon as I get home its low rise cotton panties with a sports bra for me!
I don’t stick to certain brands, that all depends on what I can afford and what fits. This weekend, though I found a hot little black & pink lacy set that’s totally rocking my world today – who says you can’t be sexy, comfortable & 7 months pregnant???


Legal Editor Mom August 11, 2008 at 6:23 am

I only wear high cuts, and while I have some Hanes and Jockey in my drawer, my all time favorite panty is the high cut Rio brief by Victoria’s Secret. They’re super comfortable and come in a variety of colors and patterns.


Laura August 11, 2008 at 5:04 am

Some people buy shoes! I buy underwear! And they have to match! I have loads!

I dont buy brands cos I cant really afford it but have a killer brown wonderbra set – its my date set!!!


Amy Nathan August 11, 2008 at 4:46 am

Granny panties are my friend! I do like patterns and have a rainbow of colors, but I’m covered, let’s say, from stem to stern.

As for a thong — I’m at the age where frankly, that’s a shoe.



Michelle August 11, 2008 at 12:25 am

I must admit, I’ve done the frumpy underwear bit post child!! To think back in grad school I was into the Victoria Secret T bar thongs…talk about butt floss!! These days it’s the comfort of Hanes cotton sport string bikinis. Unless I’m going on an amusement park water ride…then it’s a microfiber panty…it dries much faster!! :)


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