My daughter asked me to buy her tampons the other day. Ugh. That’s the last thing a single dad wants to get at the local drug store. It’s bad enough buying her razors (little pink ones), face soap (fancy junk from a spa), shampoo and conditioner (a very specific brand and type).
I can never find exactly what she wants. I stand there endlessly searching shelves while female shoppers wonder why their section’s been overrun by a guy. Men no more belong in an aisle of women’s personal things than women belong by racks of jock-itch cream.
But feminine hygiene products? Someone please find me a rock to crawl under.
“Can’t you get them yourself?” I asked.
My daughter is sixteen and has her driver license. She loves any excuse to get behind the wheel, including running an errand. And I’m quite happy to toss her the keys anytime (except for the part about the insurance industry charging divorced single parents double what married parents pay to add a teen to a policy.)
“I really need them,” she said. “I’m already out.”
“So go right now.”
“I’m about to take a shower.”
She’d just returned from soccer practice and needed to get cleaned up. Plus, she’d driven herself there, so maybe she already got her behind-the-wheel thrill for the day.
“Don’t you have an emergency one in your soccer bag?” I asked.
“I used it,” she said.
If she was at her mom’s house she could raid the bathroom and find what she needed. But here in her dad’s house, she’s the only female.
She smiled sweetly, one of those pretty-please looks that melts a dad every time.
I sighed. “Can you plan a little better next time?” I asked.
“Okay,” she said, then kissed me on the cheek.
She told me exactly where to go in the drug store, as well as the brand name and color of the box. (Oddly enough, the word tampon doesn’t appear anywhere on the packaging. How the heck would I have found what she needed on my own?)
Ah, but did she want scented or unscented? I was tempted to pick a box and go, but I’d come this far, I wanted to get the right one. With my daughter in the shower and unable to talk on the phone, I dialed her mom. Nothing like saying the word tampon into the phone with nearby customers peering and leering at me.
My daughter was pleased with the purchase, happy and grateful I’d come through in a pinch. I have to admit I made it through the experience unscathed.
But she better watch out, I can always get her back — I can send her to the drugstore to buy me condoms.
Photo of David from Dad’s House
© 2008 DadsHouseBlog.com. All rights reserved. Published by Single Mom Seeking with permission from the author.
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{ 44 comments… read them below or add one }
You are such a good dad! And she’s a very lucky daughter! I do believe you went above and beyond the call of duty!
You’re a good dad, obviously, but that’s what parents do, right…what kids need? Not sure how long you’ve been single but it would seem it might not be the first time you’ve been in this situation. I can understand it not being the most comfortable situation – but isn’t it great you have a daughter who can come to you for anything at 16?
I imagined that once upon a time you changed her diaper. Wasn’t that worse?
Oh, I cannot wait til my ex has to tackle this with our daughter!
Why don’t you get your daughter to take pictures of her toiletry items? I take pics of stuff on my camera phone so I can remember what I’m looking for later. Comes in handy when I spot a good book at a bookstore that I know I’d rather borrow from the library.
I have 3 sons. I told my boys to practices safe sex if they can’t wait until they are married.
One day my youngest son(16y/0 at the time) and I were shopping. When I went into the location he were he said “well Mom I can’t until I am married, So.. what kind a condom do I use, there are different type and size here”. I just sat there in shock.
I can hear men laughing at me because of my facial expression. Lucky for me my brother was there so I didn’t have to answer that question. Thank goodness, I don’t mind giving my sons advice, but that is one area I wish to stay away from.
This is a great story. LOL, oh the thrills of being a single parent. I can’t wait till I have to go to the store and buy my son that “jock-itch cream!”
Thanks for sharing this!
Did anyone check the youtube video on my blog? One of them is a comedian making fun of men like me. Too funny.
I’ve been divorced 8 years, and until this point my daughter went out of her way to get these things with her mom, even when stocking up at my house. I guess her embarrassment is gone, leaving me mine.
As for diapers – yep, I changed ‘em. In fact, the other day I reminded my son that I changed a lot of stinky diapers on his butt. I warned him that one day I’d get him back – when I’m super old, and he’s changing stinky diapers on my butt. He quickly responded, “No, Dad. When you’re old and wearing diapers, I’ll put you in an old-folks home and let them change it.”
Touche.
Nice job Dad, though you may want to pick up an extra box of tampons next time you’re at the store to stash in her bathroom at your house so you’re all prepared in another pinch
Uh, didn’t anyone else have a problem with that last line…how would tampons be in the same category as condoms? Why would you want your daughter involved in an effort to help your sex life? Ewwww….
Lol, the second I mention feminine hygiene products, my dad would drive me there and stay in the car until i came back. No, he didn’t need the receipt and yes, he was extremely comfortable. Poor Dad, but I loved him for it.
My husband panics – literally breaks out in a cold sweat – at the mere mention of the word “tampon”. Actually, I have to refer to it as “The T Word” so he doesn’t tear up and suck his thumb.
Good work, Dad. I salute your bravery. And I’m referring my husband, the big baby, to this post;)
I agree with BlueBella, pick up an extra box, now that you know what she prefers, and keep it at your house.
But thanks so much for the laugh today! And I love that you actually had a whole conversation about who should go, etc. When I was in high school and used to ask my dad about anything like this, he’d turn beat red but run out immediately (buying the first related item he saw), I think to avoid too much dialogue!
Thanks, too, for the heads up about higher insurance rates for divorced parents of teenagers. Makes me glad my daughter’s only 4. But by the time she’s ready to drive cars will probably cost a million dollars, so it may not even be an issue.
I feel your pain brotha!
I end up on these errands way more than I’d like.
Last time I had to but tampons, they were out of the ones she wanted and I had to ask a woman shopper for advice on which would be similar. Fucking embarrassing.
I go a few strange looks
YOu know it never occurred to me how complicated and complex the women’s aisle can be–it’s true, we do have tons of choices, even with lotion, mascara, and the like. Thanks for explaining why some men get flustered when asked to get something from the women’s section of the store–I now understand that it’s not necessarily a person reason but a complicated reason.
You guys just want me to have to go buy another box! Haha. (Actually, it’s a good idea.)
I thought for sure some readers would give me a hard time for not wanting to buy these for my daughter. Everyone being nice? No need. Or maybe you’re like my former girlfriends who HATED buying condoms, and you’re empathisizing with me.
I think its great. I love to see a dad melt at his daughter’s pleading eyes. We’re not being nice. You’re just a sweet daddy. Be proud of it, man!!
And you should send her to buy you condoms. Just so she can feel comfortable when she has to do it one day. (I know. You probably don’t want to go there…)
Ok, I’ll give you a hard time… That’s a good story, but as you know, it’s just part of being a parent. Even married fathers (assuming the wife doesn’t stay home and do all the housework) have to deal with buying women’s products. Even when I was married, I did some of the shopping. Now, it’s just another chore.
Definitely stock up! But how great that you did it for her and ensured that you bought the right kind. Now that is honestly what parenting is about!
I use special shampoo etc as well, but order it all online – quick, easy, and delivered right to my door!
Treysgirl – sorry I missed seeing your comment earlier. The condom jab in my post was because women HATE buying condoms. It was a tongue-in-cheek way to get back at my daughter for making me buy something I hate.
In real life, I’d never ask my daughter to buy my condoms. Welcome to my sense of humor.
A girlfriend? Now that’s a different story… haha.
TentCamper – man, that is too funny. When I had to call my ex, there was some old man and drugstore worker helping him find something, and they both totally turned and stared at me for using the T-word on the phone!
Phil – I have always done much of the shopping, and do all of it now that I’m single/divorced (8 years!). But so far, tampons have not shown up on my grocery list. I’m lucky, I guess.
You are such a super fantastic dad!
LOL at sending her to buy condoms!!!!!! I STILL can not do it!!!!
But well done for surviving! I would also keep an extra box somewhere for in case!
It’s great that you bought them for her and it’s great that she felt comfortable enough asking you to do so. I know I felt embarrassed asking my mum to get them for me. It was never mentioned to my dad.
That was so sweet. No doubt this is high on the list of things a single dad finds himself having to do.
I agree, she should get her own. But being a woman, I know how one can get “caught” needing one RIGHT NOW. I have never asked my father (or my ex husband while we were married, or any of my boyfriends) to provide this service, as I always have a female friend on hand to ask. However, this story shows that your daughter has no trouble telling you she needs something and I’m confident she feels comfortable telling you anything at all.
Good job, Dad!
OK, you want the guys to give you hard time… here goes. Surely you are an awesome, loving and giving dad, and you wrote this post to appeal to the emotions and sensibilities of the single moms (smart… very smart!), but hearing your girly wining about picking up female products for your daughter makes me want to throw up! Get over it… what is the big deal? And the joke about sending your 16 year old daughter to pick up condoms for you is in very bad taste… not funny… not funny at all! My last comment is going to be very politically incorrect, especially to this audience, but it is bad enough that most men in our society are completely pussy whipped, your allowing her to manipulate you with a “pretty-please, sweet smile and a kiss,” is reinforcing the lesson that is pervasive in our society that men are idiots and can be controlled like puppets with a little love (not too much), attention and sex. Your daughter is a big girl; she should take responsibility for this kind of stuff all by her self; without you allowing yourself to be made into the dog playing fetch.
I’ve been thinking about how to respond to this post. In 2008 it is sad that a seemingly “together” caring parent is whining about taking care of the health needs of one of their children. Honestly David, grow-up. And Jim, while she may be old enough to be responsible for this, we all get ‘caught’ every now and then. Dad running an emergency trip to the store is ok…but the drama with it is not.
I know, I know, I’m supposed to be on vacation! I’m packing right now…
In David’s defense, he worked hard to write this tongue-in-cheek. Maybe the humor rubbed some readers the wrong way? I know that wasn’t his intention… Dang, those single dads and their drama!! (Ha).
Jim and Judy – you guys crack me up. This post was written tongue firmly planted in cheek. Maybe you didn’t watch the youtube videos on my blog, or ever read anything I write. Welcome to my sense of humor. And if you don’t find it funny, feel free to find another blog post to read. But piss on me? Okay, whatever.
Jim, sounds like you have some serious issues to deal with – calling me pussy whipped? Give me a break. Helping my daughter out does not make me pussy whipped. What if the story had been about my son and he’d said “come on, Dad, you’re the coolest.” Parents take care of their kids. Period. At least I do. Maybe you don’t.
And by the way, I didn’t try to appeal to the emotions and sensibilities of anyone. I’m my own man. I’m man enough to raise my kids solo the half-time they are with me, cooking and cleaning and whatever else is needed to run this household. You crack me up. If you’ve ever read my blog, you know I don’t give a shit what anyone thinks. Least of all you.
I also don’t call people names. Like you just did. (Ahem) You’re funny.
Woof woof (that’s me being a dog playing fetch. Haha)
Sorry for the sharp tone of my comment yesterday, especially the “don’t give a shit” line. What I meant was that I’m extremely confident when it comes to running my household and raising my kids. I don’t pander to female readers in my blog – I speak my opinion and have no problem if feathers get ruffled. However, I usually keep my composure and speak from a place of respect. I missed the mark yesterday when I reacted to Judy and Jim.
I often do things for my kids and others in my life without conditions or expectations. That said, I’m not raising my daughter to be a princess. She’s confident, intelligent, strong, capable young woman. Occasionally she asks for some help, as we all are want to do. That doesn’t make her controlling or manipulating, and it doesn’t make me her whipping boy on a leash. We’re a family. We’re in this life together.
Hope that’s a more articulate explanation of my view.
David, I like both your rebuttals, although I probably like the first one better as it not only got your adrenaline pumping (fight or flight response is good, as it takes us back to our primitive cave man roots) but it also shows that you are passionate and genuine in your beliefs and about your parenting skills … well done! I have no doubt that you are a great dad and that your “little princess” is both fortunate and grateful to have a dad who loves her unconditionally and would do virtually anything for her, just as I would for my kiddos, or any good parent would for theirs.
Let me get this straight? A man (and “most men” according to Jim) are “pussy whipped” because they can be moved to fulfil a woman’s request because she says pretty please, gives a sweet smile and a kiss (all manipulative according to Jim).
Wow. A man who helps take care or is concerned with the needs of a woman is “pussy whipped”? I mean after all – her period – her responsibility, right?
Well Jim, to you and all of the men out there who think along those lines – I think its time you start washing your own damn underwear. You’re the ones that make those last drops of urine stains and skid marks – so maybe you guys should be “taking responsibilty” and washing them out. (and don’t say you’re single and so you do your own laundry – of course, single men do – but most men will glady let a woman wash their clothes).
IT’s called a cooperative relationship. I take care of you – you take care of me. That’s what families do. And Jim, even cave men families worked like that.
Standing round of applause for Amy from my house.