My daughter asked me to buy her tampons the other day. Ugh. That’s the last thing a single dad wants to get at the local drug store. It’s bad enough buying her razors (little pink ones), face soap (fancy junk from a spa), shampoo and conditioner (a very specific brand and type).
I can never find exactly what she wants. I stand there endlessly searching shelves while female shoppers wonder why their section’s been overrun by a guy. Men no more belong in an aisle of women’s personal things than women belong by racks of jock-itch cream.
But feminine hygiene products? Someone please find me a rock to crawl under.
“Can’t you get them yourself?” I asked.
My daughter is sixteen and has her driver license. She loves any excuse to get behind the wheel, including running an errand. And I’m quite happy to toss her the keys anytime (except for the part about the insurance industry charging divorced single parents double what married parents pay to add a teen to a policy.)
“I really need them,” she said. “I’m already out.”
“So go right now.”
“I’m about to take a shower.”
She’d just returned from soccer practice and needed to get cleaned up. Plus, she’d driven herself there, so maybe she already got her behind-the-wheel thrill for the day.
“Don’t you have an emergency one in your soccer bag?” I asked.
“I used it,” she said.
If she was at her mom’s house she could raid the bathroom and find what she needed. But here in her dad’s house, she’s the only female.
She smiled sweetly, one of those pretty-please looks that melts a dad every time.
I sighed. “Can you plan a little better next time?” I asked.
“Okay,” she said, then kissed me on the cheek.
She told me exactly where to go in the drug store, as well as the brand name and color of the box. (Oddly enough, the word tampon doesn’t appear anywhere on the packaging. How the heck would I have found what she needed on my own?)
Ah, but did she want scented or unscented? I was tempted to pick a box and go, but I’d come this far, I wanted to get the right one. With my daughter in the shower and unable to talk on the phone, I dialed her mom. Nothing like saying the word tampon into the phone with nearby customers peering and leering at me.
My daughter was pleased with the purchase, happy and grateful I’d come through in a pinch. I have to admit I made it through the experience unscathed.
But she better watch out, I can always get her back — I can send her to the drugstore to buy me condoms.
Photo of David from Dad’s House
© 2008 DadsHouseBlog.com. All rights reserved. Published by Single Mom Seeking with permission from the author.
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I would have bought her enough boxes to last a lonnnngg time maybe 6-10 boxes of the kind she uses… problem solved for a lonnnng time.
I hated to buy tampoons and pads when I was her age and I’m a girl! If a man was at the cash register I would wait until he left to go over. It embarrased me for some uinknown reason.
Primitive cave man roots? Ugh.
I think I need to take a break from this stuff.
By the way, GREAT picture of you, David!
That pic is from my caveman days. I believe the latin name for such a man is Dudeous Calfironicus.
Jim – adrenaline pumping is the only way to go. Or was that my Rockstar energy drink talking?
Hey Amy, Single Mom in NE, Cathouse Teri, and all the other single moms I offended by my comments, I’m not sure you get where I am coming from, and that is OK, but I honor you for being the loving, emotional, caring, sentimental, courageous, brave, warrior single moms that you are! And Amy, you are absolutely right that as a single dad I do my own and my kids’ laundry, and I would give it up in a heartbeat. By the way no pee stains or skid marks on my boxers… what kind of a savage cave man do you think I am?
Dude, I double dog dare you to send your daughter to buy condoms. That reaction and ensuing exchange would be PRICELESS.
Oh, grow up. Are you 12 or something?
You sound like “ooo, gross, it has something to do with a woman’s private parts, how yucky!”
I think I’ve spotted the reason for your problems with your love life….
And it is seriously warped that you feel that you should “retaliate” by making your daughter buy you your condoms. Like tampons = helping your Dad having sex?
Dude, you are seriously messed up.
mc – thanks! I love that I made you react so strongly! In my book, that’s a sign of good writing.
I bought the tampons, btw. And I’m not sure what buying my daughter tampons has to do with my love life. Also, the “retaliation” was a tongue in cheek joke. Sorry if you didn’t get that humor.
Do you see the youtube videos on my site w.r.t. this post? They both poke fun at guys who feel embarrassed or don’t want to buy tampons. I think it’s telling that I put those up on my own blog, making fun of myself. I think your judgement against me is a little misguided.
Cheers!
p.s. Check out the videos here…
http://dadshouseblog.com/2008/08/22/when-a-single-dads-daughter-needs-girl-stuff/
dadshouse – sorry if I haven’t seen everything you’ve posted (I did miss the videos)…I was just reacting to this one post.
I admit I did find this post surprisingly “neanderthal” compared to your usual writing, which I mostly like, enjoy, and agree with!
So I should have suspected it was meant to be humorous! Oh well, I guess it went over my head, sorry!
Just a few more comments, in the spirit of friendly debate and understanding:
First, shouldn’t each post stand alone? Isn’t that a better sign of “good writing” than just getting people riled up (which is pretty easy, as every blog troll knows)?
2nd, I guess I was kind of assuming that men who think tampons are embarrassing also think a woman’s normal bodily functions/smells/secretions are gross. And are therefore going to be really lousy lovers of women, hence my snarky comment (not meant seriously, BTW).
But maybe I was making too big of a leap there, and not accounting for the centuries of socialization that has led to menstruation being almost a taboo topic among both sexes. Maybe you don’t find women gross but you still find tampons embarrassing due to your socialization? I’m probably fairly clueless re the taboo, thanks to my happy hippie parents. Honestly, the acronym “TMI” was invented just to describe them. So I probably jumped on you too much there.
Finally, I do have to scold you on one thing! As the father of a teenage daughter you should have the foresight to already have a box of tampons (any kind!) in your house somewhere. Just like you’d stock your kids’ favorite breakfast cereal and make sure there’s some shampoo in the shower when they visit. It’s just polite and part of being a parent–a way to take care of your kid when she needs it.
Sure, she probably should “be prepared” and take care of it all by herself, but every woman knows that periods are unpredictable. That’s why every public woman’s restroom contains a machine that dispenses tampons (maybe you didn’t know that?)
And teenagers’ periods are notoriously irregular–meaning you can’t tell exactly when they’ll start/stop or how heavy the bleeding will be. And if you bleed more, you need more tampons. Now. And nothing is more embarrassing than bleeding through your jeans while you stand in line at the drugstore because you didn’t plan ahead.
So yes, you are a super Dad for manning up and buying the things when she asked (despite your embarrassment), but think about going the extra mile and keeping a box of them at your place, eh?
mc – I actually did have a box here, but she finished it without telling me it was empty. So she is partly to blame. Usually when she runs out she asks me to take her to the store and we go together.
As for why men are embarrassed – I really can’t say! No, I’m not grossed out by a woman’s bodily fluids and discharges. And in fact I’ve been called an excellent lover by more than one woman. But tampons – I guess it’s socialization. They don’t even write the word ‘tampon’ on the box! I think my attitude toward it is similar to those women who feel embarrassed buying a box of condoms. I mean – what’s to be embarrassed about?
Finally, should a blog post stand on its own? Perhaps. But as a guest blogger, I had no intention of giving a bio or playing it safe. I wanted to write a humorous narrative that would make readers say, “who is this guy?” and come check out my blog. Seems to have worked!
Thanks for questioning me and my views. Everyone has their own perspective on things, and that’s why we all read each others blogs, I suppose.
What a wonderful Dad.
I know my entry into this discussion is late in the game, but Jim’s comment about people like David being “pussy whipped” was so offensive to me, I couldn’t help but reply.
This comment strikes me not only as extremely sexist, but also extremely perverse, as the term implies that a man is responding to a woman’s requests only because he wants access to that part of her body, thus being controlled by her “pussy,” to use Jim’s crude term. Applying that terminology to someone’s relationship with his daughter seems really sort of disturbing!
I guess I am the last woman on earth who would never ask her dad or brother to buy tampons. That is so nasty, yucky, and against the right purpose of a female’s life. Have you confused people ever heard of modesty and privacy.Next you will be saying it’s okay for her dad to buy her bra.The young female’s mother, grandmother, aunt, teacher, or friend’s mother is the one to help her buy those, not her dad!!!!!
I´m sorry but I disagree with this opinion. I am a 19 years old girl and I don´t see my Dad very often as he lives abroad and I only visit him like four times a year, but I think it´s perfectly normal for Dads to buy these things for their daughters. Not at my age, of course, but when a girl is sixteen it should not be such a big deal. Actually I think asking a teacher would be weird. And for the underwear part, my Dad used to buy most of my clothing (including knickers and bras etc) when I lived with him and I saw nothing wrong about it. Of course he didn´t choose it or see me try it on, but he saw it and paid for it.
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