Tracking down my UPS man, Part IV

by singlemomseeking on August 29, 2008

So, here I was, paused during a passionate kiss with my former UPS man in his car. He was turned away from from me, in the middle of texting his “young lady friend.”

And what was I doing? I sat there thinking all of you, my readers. I’m not kidding. I almost cracked up. It almost felt like you were watching me. Strange.

If he hadn’t stopped to text to his “young lady friend,” I probably would have slept with him. What can I say? It has been a long time. (When I’d run out to meet him, I realized that I’d forgotten my lipstick. But I had remembered a condom, Just in Case.)

It would have been easy to sleep with him. Right here in his car. Or, I could have led him into my friend’s brownstone, where I was staying. There was a cozy music room downstairs, with a big sofa.

But he’d blown it.

“I’m tired,” I said. “I’d like to go home.”

“You would?”


It’s amazing what happens to my body when I get turned off. I suddenly get tired. I wasn’t pretending. I wanted to go to sleep. Alone.

SMS Reader Karen nailed it in her recent comment:

“You built up a fantasy about this guy based on very little information. In reality, you know almost nothing about this guy’s character or how he lives his life. So of course, he was very likely to turn out very different from your fantasy.”

How true.

I was staying just 10 blocks from where we sat in his car. We drove in silence. In front of my friend’s home, I gave him a quick hug and hopped out of the car. He looked disappointed. I felt just right.

The next day, he called and left a message.

“I’m just calling to check up on you,” he said. “My day was a little rough. I was totally exhausted, but it’s fine because it’s Friday. I’ll get some sleep tonight. But most of all, I had a good time with you last night. I hope to do it again sometime.”

Does he know that he f-cked up? I think so.

But I still need your advice about one little issue:

Remember when he asked me to please send him a copy of my book? (I know, if he really wanted to read it, he could go out and buy it. But he clearly he wants a signed copy.)

He even gave me his mailing address. Actually, he gave me his parents’ mailing address. Ironically, he works such long hours that he’s never around to get packages.

Susan Courtad gave me this advice in her recent comment:

“Don’t give him a copy of your book — and the satisfaction of reading your in-depth fantasies about him!”

But I was thinking otherwise: if I DO send him my book, he’ll see what fantasies he missed out on… What do you think?

Should I send him my book — with Chapter 1, “UPS Man at My Door” — or not?

Photo by Frankie P.

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{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

SDMktg September 9, 2008 at 2:20 pm

I just started reading your blog but I would have to agree with the folks who said don’t send the book. He missed his chance and if he really wants to know how you felt he can buy it. I would never answer a text while on a date unless it was from the kids’ mom and even then I’m respectful about it. Never interrupt making out for the phone. That’s just crazy.


Mydria September 1, 2008 at 11:41 am

The UPS man does not deserve any more play from you – via phone, text, mail, etc. Do no send him your book. Like others said, if he’s interested, he’ll find it on his own.

I am glad to see that you went out on a limb and decided to go out with him. It’s good to build up different experiences, even if they don’t pan out the way we wanted them to.

I really enjoyed reading about your date, by the way. I can’t wait to go on my first real date as a single mom…it’s been almost 2 years! I’ll definitely post it on my blog, so watch out for it!


singlemomseeking August 31, 2008 at 2:56 pm

Jim: Please, please don’t tell me that men are pigs… Coming from a man, it’s so disappointing to hear.

Jennifer: Now that everyone has pointed out how shady it was to give me his parents’ address… I can’t help but agree. He DOES sound younger than me. But he’s actually going on 40.

VJ: Haven’t heard from you in a while! As always, you are very rational and thoughtful. I appreciate that scratching-my-itch metaphor. Done! I’ve moved on.


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