Tracking down my UPS man, part III

by singlemomseeking on August 28, 2008

So, there we were, my former UPS man and I, holding hands on the park bench. A mosquito buzzed around his ear, annoying him. I shivered.

“Let’s sit in the car?” he asked.

He was still holding my hand, but instead of opening my car door, he leaned up against the car.

“Come here,” he said, and I was leaning against him.

We kissed, cautiously. Then we paused. I took a deep breath.

“Were you anticipating this a long time ago?” he asked.

“Yes,” I said, laughing.

We kissed again, slower.

I was relaxed now, but this felt unbelievable. This was the moment I’d fantasized about over and over. How many times had I imagined his strong hands cradling my back like this? I’d thought so often about leaning into his body like this, and feeling him get hard against me. Now it was real. Or unreal.

But he was nervous now. His body seemed tense. I wondered if it had anything to do with that phone call.

“Let me rub your back,” I said, reaching behind his neck and massaging his shoulders.

He moaned softly, and we were kissing again.

I don’t know how long we stood there, leaning against his car, like this.

“It’s cold,” he said. “Let’s get in the car.”

He bent over the cup holder. I met him in the middle. This is where he really kissed me, gently and unhurried.

Then his phone buzzed again.

If he’d looked at his phone, and ignored it, I would have let it go.

No, he didn’t have a sitter that night: his daughter is in high school and she was with her mom. No, I wouldn’t have been surprised to hear that he had a regular booty call. As one reader, Legal Editor Mom, pointed out in her recent comment:

“If he looks as good as you say — and he’s as sweet as he seems — he must have some sort of ‘friend’ there, even if he isn’t married or in a committed relationship. Heck, if you still lived there, you’d probably be calling him, too!”

How true. But still, wasn’t this our time, our little private groove after-hours?

He let go of my knee and looked at his phone. He was focused on reading his text message.

“Excuse me,” he said. Then he turned away from me and started to type.

I looked at the clock on my phone. It was 1 a.m. If you think I was getting turned off, you’re right.

“Who’s that?” I said, teasing him.

“My young lady friend,” he said, still typing.

“Your young lady friend?”

Go ahead and think that I was jealous. But I wasn’t. Really. Instead, I felt like he was being disrespectful. Rude, in fact.

Of course, he had a young lady friend. But did he really have to sort this out in the middle of our kiss?

“I’m not tied to anyone,” he said.

I didn’t say anything, but I was shutting down. Fine, he had a booty call waiting for him. But couldn’t he deal with this later?

Do you think I was overreacting?

Image from Cafe Press

Update: As Ms. Single Mama points out, that T-shirt doesn’t fit this post. It should probably say something like, “Do You Have a UPS Man Who Doesn’t Deliver?”

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Tracking down my UPS man, Part IV | Single Mom Seeking...
August 29, 2008 at 8:00 am

{ 35 comments… read them below or add one }

Ms. Single Mama August 28, 2008 at 10:02 am

Ummm… no.

I would have jumped out of the damn car. It’s OKAY To be seeing other people. But to answer the text and then TELL you he’s talking to another woman.

Yep. I would have been completely turned off.

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Ms. Single Mama August 28, 2008 at 10:02 am

P.S.

I think your t-shirt should say something else!

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SingleParentDad August 28, 2008 at 10:03 am

In a word, NO.

We’re all a-dults I appreciate, but there really is a time and a place.

When do we get part IV? Or didn’t he get a part IV?

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Phil August 28, 2008 at 10:11 am

No, you weren’t overreacting… his cell phone should have been turned off. Anyone who answers a phone call or text while talking to someone else is always being rude. It may be necessary sometimes, but it’s still rude.
But…which of you was really on the “booty call”? The girl friend probably had read your blog!

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Kelly August 28, 2008 at 10:20 am

Wow, that’s totally rude. Ew.

Is there a part 4? What happened after that?

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Carrie August 28, 2008 at 10:28 am

Rude! Completely rude! You two were out on a date, so unless it’s a call from the babysitter or some other emergency, don’t answer your phone. Period. I hope he was a good kisser at least….

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Aedariamti August 28, 2008 at 10:32 am

Regardless of who the message was from, definitely rude to stop and text back! Mood killer.

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liz August 28, 2008 at 10:41 am

Absolutely, positively not.

Very rude.

Seriously Mr. UPS Man, save your booty call text for when the beautiful woman from CA gets out of the car.

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Amy Nathan August 28, 2008 at 10:47 am

He might be hot, but he’s got no class. And for me, that’s a deal-breaker.

Move on Rachel…maybe Fed Ex or DHL.

;)

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GLSD August 28, 2008 at 11:00 am

No you’re not overreacting. If he was going to spend time with you, his daughter is with the mom, that cell phone should’ve been OFF. Very rude, very disrespectful, and totally a turn OFF! Gotta hear part 4 and how the night ends! Time to be friends and only friends… time to move on… you deserve better than that! You have to be the “priority”! :)

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Andie August 28, 2008 at 11:05 am

1. I don’t even own a cell phone.

2. And I think it’s extremely inappropriate. Nothing says I’m not sexually attracted to you like I’d rather be texting than kissing.

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Lance August 28, 2008 at 11:26 am

Have to agree with Phil on this one. I ALWAYS turn my phone to vibrate on early dates, and only check it when we’re separated, like when I go to the men’s room. It would have to be something super important for me to text back on the spot or take a call.

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The Exception August 28, 2008 at 11:28 am

Definitely a mood killer. I wonder just what he was thinking I mean… honestly amazing woman right there kissing him…and he does a text!

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Susan August 28, 2008 at 11:28 am

Ditto above. Rude, rude, rude…

It’s a shame, but it sounds like time to close this chapter. And don’t give him a copy of your book — and the satisfaction of reading your in-depth fantasies about him!

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Single Mom in New England August 28, 2008 at 11:29 am

ARGH!! Yes, as a mature woman just beginning to date this guy, we have to give him the benefit of the doubt that he may be seeing someone. But he didn’t have to invite her on your date with him, let alone get in the middle of a romantic kiss! He acted 12! ARGH!

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T August 28, 2008 at 11:34 am

Wow.

Nope, you weren’t over-reacting. Sometimes fantasies unfortunately don’t turn out the way we expect them to.

But you did find out for sure so, as Susan said above, now you can close this chapter and move forward.

And don’t regret. Just remember how good the kiss felt and smile. Because now he knows what he’s missing. :)

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avigail74 August 28, 2008 at 11:58 am

Over-reacting? Perhaps, under-reacting! Sounds like a man who doesn’t know how to make a woman feel like she’s the top of the world—and isn’t ready to be “tied to anyone.” Bummer!

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Legal Editor Mom August 28, 2008 at 12:25 pm

I agree with all of the above. Mr. UPS blew it as far as I’m concerned. Any man who’s into you is just that, while he’s with you. (Whether it’s just a casual date because you’re in town or not.) THIS WAS YOUR TIME.

Perhaps he took advantage of your longstanding “crush”? Or does he simply not have any manners or common sense?

I love Single Parent Dad’s question, by the way. I’m awaiting Part IV, but now without all of the anticipation of it! Darn him! ;-)

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Patricia Dolan August 28, 2008 at 12:39 pm

For a UPS man he certainly doesn’t know how to deliver. His behavior was roadkill and his manners need a GPS satellite update. He needs to join AAA, the American Association of A$$%%%%! You’re a gourmet meal and he’s a turkey-to-go!

Trish

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kevin August 28, 2008 at 12:47 pm

I dont think you overreacted at all. You did what your instincts told you to do. If I was in your situation and the woman I was with continued to answer her phone and trade text messages, I would be turned off too if I really liked the woman. I think the fact that he kept answering that phone means he really liked _ or at least respected _ the person on the other line. I think you did everything right.

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syd August 28, 2008 at 12:50 pm

Ew, I’m sorry, how disappointing. Just when he was sounding so sexy. That is decidedly UN-sexy, imho.

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mc August 28, 2008 at 1:06 pm

Oh no, FAIL! I’d jump out of the car. What a rude person!

But in a way, it is not surprising.

You built up a fantasy about this guy based on very little information.

In reality, you know almost nothing about this guy’s character or how he lives his life. So of course, he was very likely to turn out very different from your fantasy.

Well, you should feel good about taking the risk to get to know him better. However, you should not feel bad if you don’t really like him once you do. Chalk it up to experience and move on!

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singlemomseeking August 28, 2008 at 1:13 pm

Of course, you all are getting a part IV. I’m not saying if HE got a Part IV or not…. but it’s your guess right now about what happened next.

Did I jump out of the car right then?

Did I take him home with me? Did I go home with him? (It has been a LONG time, and he did kiss sweetly…).

Hmmmm.

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singlemomseeking August 28, 2008 at 1:15 pm

And by the way, all of you are so darn savvy — and some of you are really cracking me up today!

GLSD telling me: “You have to be the ‘priority!’ ”

And Amy Nathan: “Move on Rachel…maybe Fed Ex or DHL.”

Love it! Thanks.

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Jorge Fitz-Gibbon August 28, 2008 at 1:42 pm

Personally, I think that even the most casual and no-strings-attached
encounter mandates a minimal level of respect and etiquette. If I’ve made a date with you it seems bad form to have an encounter scheduled for later in the night. Is that in case things don’t go where I want them to between us? Or do we simply have different expectations for what our date is about. If there
are romantic overtones, as seems the case here, then I think devoting an entire evening or night to you, whatever the outcome, is the least that you should expect. If it’s just a casual dinner between friends, that’s a different matter. But maybe it’s on him to address it if his expectations are different. That’s just my two cents, for what it’s worth since it comes from sitting in the wings.

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Heather @ Desperately Seeking Sanity August 28, 2008 at 2:47 pm

I’m bummed… :(

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jessica August 28, 2008 at 3:36 pm

I second Jorge. UPS guy= outta here!

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judy August 28, 2008 at 3:55 pm

His cell phone should have been turned off UNLESS the young lady friend has a medical need and he is her emergency number or he moonlights for protective services or it’s his little adopted sister who tends to make poor choices and is addicted to crack and calls him at all odd hours. I am good at alibiing those bad boys!

Although sweet kissing is sweet kissing and it has been a while and you could turn it into the 1 night stand to empower yourself. and sometimes the booty call implies there is a potential for some great sex especially if he picks you over her)

Shucks there is where you want the last page of the book before deciding.

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Mom2Maddie99 August 28, 2008 at 4:10 pm

You are not overreacting. Sheesh…I was hoping this was going to end better :(

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Shannon August 28, 2008 at 7:36 pm

Horribly rude. You are amazing and when someone is with you, they should be WITH you. Mentally as well as physically. Can’t wait to hear what happened.

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