If you’ve read my book, then you might remember Chapter 1, in which I had my very first crush as a single mom.
Yes, it was on my UPS man, whom I’d met when we squeezed into the elevator together of my apartment building. That afternoon, it was just him, M (on my hip), me, and his massive rolling cart.
Although nothing happened between us — except a goodbye hug on the street corner before I moved out to Cali — he and I have called each other a handful of times.
A few years ago, during a summer visit to NYC, I tracked down Otis, my UPS man, in our old ‘hood. He looked exactly the same. No, actually, he looked better. He had a girlfriend.
Amazingly, he still had a photo of M taped inside his truck. I told him how nerdy my UPS man in California was, and he laughed. That was that.
Before you accuse me of having “a thing” for men in uniform, let me set you straight: I think it’s just a thing I have for men in uniform who deliver packages.
So, get this: M and I are headed to NYC in two weeks and… I called Otis. He called back a few hours later.
When I answered the phone, it sounded like there were big trucks rolling past. Was he working on a Sunday?
Him: “I’m at the laundry mat.”
Me: “You’re calling me while you’re washing laundry?” (Call me a weirdo, but I found this really sweet. A man who washes his own underwear is very sexy in my book.)
His voice is still so sweet. I asked about his daughter, he asked about M. And then, the hook: he told me that he and his girlfriend have split up.
He says that he’d like to see me in NYC. (I don’t think he has read the book; if he had, I’m sure he wouldn’t see me.) I know it’s cliche, having a crush on my UPS man. Maybe you’ve read love that poem by Alice N. Persons?
“Why I Have A Crush On You, UPS Man,” in which Alice writes: “you bring me all the things I order are never in a bad mood… we have an ideal uncomplicated relationship you’re like a cute boyfriend with great legs who always brings the perfect present (why, it’s just what I’ve always wanted!) and then is considerate enough to go away”
Anyway, I’m already thinking that Otis and I will have a family-friendly rendezvous, say, a play date at the park where we’ll get some ice cream with M.
But maybe I should suggest an adults-only get together after hours? What do you think? I’m kind of nervous.
Photo courtesy of UPS… who knew that UPS was using hybrid trucks these days?
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OOOHHH how totally exciting is that!!
I would suggest an after hours things definately!!!!
GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!
LOL, BsDaddy is a UPS man so I have a little bit of a different outlook on them. A UPS man AND a musician so there are always girls around him.
He’s funny like that.
And I so need to read your book, but not sure how to do it without husband staring at the title and wondering why I bought it.
I need a Kindle reader from Amazon.com.
I have read so many books this summer…including yours…but I am having trouble remembering why exactly it didn’t work with the UPS man to begin with.
SMS:
If I remember correctly, you and Otis got together at your place with your girls, but nothing came of that. It’s great that you’ve kept in touch and he was obviously interested if he expressed desire to see you when you’re in town again.
His having M’s picture in his truck is very sweet! (And he told you that he and the girlfriend broke up for a reason!)
My advice? Proceed, but proceed with caution. If you can see him, accept it for what it is without getting attached or being too sad once you’re back in Cali, then go for it. There’s nothing wrong with going out or getting together, but since the propects of something long-term are slim, I’m only saying to be cautious with your emotions and feelings. From what I know of you, you tend to get attached, and I don’t want you to be hurt or disappointed. But I’m all for getting together, since we all need an outlet at some point, and he was/is a nice guy. So go for it, just keep things in perspective. As for whether to do it with child or after hours, play it by ear and see what he suggests.
Have a great trip…and keep us posted!
LEM
I think you should set up something with the girls first — park, ice cream, etc. Then, while you’re having such a smashing good time, suggest drinks later in the evening.
(LOVED that part of the book!)
Crankypants single mom here chiming in.
He lives in NY. You want a boyfriend in NY? I think a friendly get-together is fine but in my world it would be a waste of time. I’m sure you have many friends in NY to see and spend time with who are integral parts of your life. What will you be bypassing to meet with the UPS guy? Not that it’s beyond me to just have fun for no real reason – but when it comes to a man – well, it has to be worth it.
Maybe I’m just an old stick-in-the-mud at 44.
Mom2Maddie: Well, it didn’t “work” because he was my UPS man… and I was a vulnerable, spankin’ new single mom with a baby. We never had a date. He came over after church once with his daughter, that was as far as we went.
LEM: Thanks for the advice. Me, attachment? You know me so well!
“Crankypants ” Amy: no, not a boyfriend, just a date. But you have a good point: I do have plans to see many old friends and editors . I’ll need to make sure I don’t bump anyone for him…
Shannon: so cute that your new hubby is a UPS man. I didn’t know!
I do not see anything wrong with just going out with him…with no expectations.
When I go back to visit my parents I have an ex that I often meet for lunch or dinner with…and sometimes it leads to more… Its a no strings attached thing for us and it works.
Good luck with whatever you decide to do.
Ooh, he has a uniform AND a daughter of his own, too!? I think I have a great big crush FOR you! I say go for it, but it’s always easier to live vicariously through somebody else. Either way, I’m looking forward to hearing how it goes…
I’d make an adults only date first….but I’m just funny about that kind of thing….safety first!
Yeah, I’d definitely plan a grown up outing. Just to catch up as friends anyway!
I agree with Legal Editor Mom. Have fun without expectations!
And no, I didn’t know UPS was using hybrid trucks. That is awesome!
I would not think that seeing him would be a waste of time – are people ever a waste of time (especially cute ones?) No expectations, have fun and see what happens. Perhaps I am the romantic of the lot, but honestly one never knows what the stars hold – and one won’t find out without taking chances or having an open mind… and going in without expectations is part of that open mind!
Have a blast!!
Definitely “adults only”. Why not?
Also, he’s not long-term relationship material anyway because he lives too far away. So I’m puzzled why you would involve your kid?
Get a babysitter and have yourself a little fun.
This says make out date to me. Nothing more nothing less.
But EVERYONE and I mean EVERYONE could do with a good make out date once in a while.
It’s very sweet… I kind of agree with Andie as well.
Did I hear you say family friendly rendezvous?!? I’m totally OK with this and it sounds like a great idea, but doesn’t this contradict the general consensus among your bloggers that kids need to be somehow protected from innocent, well intentioned and charming men? Andie understates how much this says make out date; after all you have been fantasizing about this package delivery man for how many years?
I’d say go out for a drink and catch up on each others lives. Have fun and enjoy NYC! Can’t wait to hear all about it! I’m off to the big Island of Hawaii for a week!
Well, if I listen to the men here, I should be hopping in the back of that hybrid-electric UPS truck after hours… just kidding. Kind of.
I’m big on not having expectations as they tend to cause complicated emotions. Go, have fun, meet, and see how it feels for you and him.
However it ends up, how wonderful that you kept the connection, that you have a a little “history” … and that maybe you might even have more!
1. Do you want to continue in your “lala land” of crush on him (then don’t see him in NYC)
2. Do you want to pretend you can maybe have a long distance relationship and maybe teach M about friendships (then play date with M in NYC)
3. Do you want to realize your fantasy with him knowing that there is nothing like uncommitted sex while on vaca? (then ask to see M’s photo in that panel van, flip it over, so she’s not watching and kick up the stilletos)
Judy, you are the bomb! Finally a a self assured lady who cuts through all the BS, innuendo, and political correctness and tells it like it is… you go girl!
One of my first dates with my honey, he folded my laundry. Granted, it was just to get look at my panties–but I thought it was sweet at the time. Oh silly me. So yes–I get the laundry thing. Self-sufficient and clean clothes–?? How cool is that?
I think you should do the family play date, see how it goes and if there’s chemistry suggest grabbing a drink or something more, um, sexy than the freaking park. Good luck!!!!
I LOVED this. I would not have the guts to meet him at night, but I say go for it.
Go have fun! Be in the moment. See what happens. No expectations, but open to possibilities. And seeing him w/o kids is a-okay in my book. Single parents need their play dates, too.
I’d say proceed, but proceed with caution. Have the play date and see how things go from there, knowing that you really don’t know the guy (and he really doesn’t know you – well, if he’d read your book he’d know you). But remember this: Long distance relationships don’t usually work and men are men most of the time when it comes to long distance relationships. (if you know what i mean)
Ha,Ha no SMS, new hubby owns a business (Liquor and wine yay!). BsDaddy (my ex-husband, with him from ages 19-28) is the UPS man. At least my girl has great benefits through UPS, fabulous insurance.
Judy, you’re hired! You are so good! What sign are you? I’m serious.
Shannon, sorry about the error… I’ve got to read your blog more often!
I am loving this story! I’m a UPSer (the insider slang for UPS employee) at the Corporate Office in Atlanta. I love hearing these stories…..and UPS drivers are a catch! UPS has a long history of integrity, honesty, and the most amazing work ethic I’ve seen. This comes across especially in the drivers. So sad, as an employee, we have a ‘no fraternization’ policy….no cute UPS drivers for me!
Go for it! You are single in NYC for a short time. It can’t hurt can it? It’s not like you don’t know him.
How exciting for you!!!! You go girl!!