Inspired by One-Woman Show

by singlemomseeking on July 11, 2008

One-Woman Show calls it “AFGO (Another F–g Growth Opportunity).”

If you read our blogs, then you know that these lovely opportunities often come to us in the form of relationships.

This spring, One-Woman Show took “that FGO and wrangled it into a mixture of potting soil and deck stain.” In the end, she explains, “I at least had control over this.”

As for me, the Biologist and I clearly are not dating anymore. We’ve seen each other once since deciding to take a break. We had a sweet, yet subdued afternoon chat that day; and there have been a few pleasant phone calls, and that’s that.

So, recently — in a moment that was inspired by One-Woman Show’s FGO — I told my kid we needed to go to the local flower sale. Back at home, I “wrangled” this on our deck:

To be honest, M took over to do the actual planting. She loves to garden.

Every time come home, I can’t help but feel life unfolding. Thanks Susan!

Tell me: what’s one good thing you’re going to do for yourself this weekend?

It can be as simple as having a cup of tea in the sunshine. Or as complicated as sky diving over the edge of a mountain. Let’s hear it.

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{ 30 comments… read them below or add one }

Jeanne July 14, 2008 at 4:58 am

Thanks for the feedback on my Babble piece – obviously it’s an issue very close to me. It’s so tough to balance my own self-esteem with hers, the childhood obesity crisis with good old fashioned childhood delights . . . Weight is never an easy thing for a woman, and for a mom it’s that much more complicated!


Legal Editor Mom July 13, 2008 at 3:33 pm

That doesn’t sound like something you did for yourself, unless you’re counting getting your girlfriend’s help for the party? Or perhaps getting along well with your ex and her new beau?

Anyway, I landed a last-minute freelance project this weekend which would yield immediate payment, but it had to be done by this evening. I wasn’t able to count on my ex to keep our four-year-old busy today so I could work on it (surprise, surprise), so my mom and I came up with a plan. “Mini me” and I went to my parents house and I snuck upstairs with my laptop while my mom kept her busy for over an hour. She did such a good job that I was even able to sneak in a few pages of a novel I just started, before my daughter realized that I was MIA. That doesn’t happen very often!


Jim aka Sydney&Hunter'sDad July 13, 2008 at 3:01 pm

Yesterday I threw a 6th birthday party at my house for my little princess. We had about 25 kids and 10 adults. I served food, drinks, snacks and birthday cupcakes (in both adult and kiddie versions). The single mom I am dating helped me do everything, plus my X was here with her new boyfriend and his daughter. Considering we have been divorced less than a year apart less than 18 months; and there is still some animosity lingering, it all well off rather cordially, and most importantly fun was had by all… especially the birthday girl!


melissa laMunyon July 12, 2008 at 10:25 pm

I’m in Flagstaff. On vacation. And my mum is taking the child tomorrow for a WEEK.

I’m going to do whatever I want to. 🙂


laurakim123 July 12, 2008 at 8:46 pm

I started studying! Doesnt sound very relaxing but I am LOVING it and its TOTALLY for me!!!!!


Nicole July 12, 2008 at 6:54 pm

I’m going to the spa with my mom and my three sisters!
Definitely out of the ordinary for me, and I’m not looking forward to 2 whole nights away from the little man but I’m sure it will be refreshing!
When I get back I’m going to start packing for my and the little man’s two week long cottaging trip! Just the two of us! Except for the 3 days my.. um.. male friend is coming to visit us!
He’s too young to appreciate it right now so I kind of HAVE to admit it’s mostly for me lol


littlemansmom July 12, 2008 at 6:35 pm

Do something for myself this weekend! LOL…Where will I find the time Ha!

But seriously, I guess all of the work I`m putting into my friend`s shower is also for me. I`m proud of the work I`ve done, I know that she`ll love it, I know that it will make her extremely happy, and that makes me happy…so in that weird round about way, I`m making myself happy this weekend by making someone else happy. 🙂


alicia July 12, 2008 at 5:31 pm

I squeezed in doing two quick loads of laundry today, getting the little guys’ hair cut, took him to a bday party, had brunch at McDonalds,grocery shopped for a ‘few’ items, and rented a movies. So, tomorrow when the little guy is at church with greatgrandma-I’ll be on my couch with a large plate of bacon & eggs! Oh, and M is right-it was 7-11s’ birthday. I only know this because i stopped in there after work to grab a newspaper, & there were balloons all over the place (which i ignored), then i heard the clerk say to a little girl “would you like a balloon, it’s our birthday today”. Who knew?!


singlemomseeking July 12, 2008 at 8:26 am

Judy: Sending much warmth and health to our friend!

Karsi: Exciting! Let us know how the old-fashioned method goes.

LEM: You’re amazing, you go mama.

The Exception: Here’s to patience… I get it.


The Exception July 12, 2008 at 5:52 am

Wow Judy, that is awful. I hope that your friend will be okay!

I am reading Bones to Ashes (which I am very excited about) but am feeling amazingly restless.

I need adventure or something like that just, for, me. The question is, do I have the patience to see what unfolds!


judy July 11, 2008 at 10:11 pm

OK so one of the single parents I emailed (from above) just replied. She is in the opposite corner of the country on a combination business trip which never made it to the pleasure portion. She ended up in the hospital with a blood clot and has had 4 procedures in 5 days. Yikes!!!!


Legal Editor Mom July 11, 2008 at 4:37 pm

Besides the usual errands, household chores, and taking the kid to the library, for myself,I am going to sit down and get my financial house in order. I’m going revise my monthly budget (coincidentally using a spreadsheet One-Woman Show shared with me a while ago), to include an increase in my savings.


Susan July 11, 2008 at 4:09 pm

Rach, I never said I was a *smart* single mom 😉

(but I promise it will make a good blog post!)


Judy July 11, 2008 at 2:49 pm

just emailed 2 great friends and suggested a Sunday afternoon at the free Shakespeare in the park showing of 12th night then onto my fav oyster bar.

I also just weeded and readied my back yard for summer so a nap in the hammock may be in order as well!!


Crazy Computer Dad July 11, 2008 at 12:39 pm

I’m playing softball, surfing, playing soccer, watching movies, drinking wine, lounging at the beach, and playing dodgeball, in that order, throughout the weekend.


Dan July 11, 2008 at 11:01 am

Besides doing the mountain of household chores…I’ll probably take my daughter to see Wall-E Saturday afternoon.


Shannon July 11, 2008 at 10:40 am

I’m taking my girl to her soccer tournament for the weekend. And it’s possible I may be single mommy again and not just “former single mommy”. It’s discouraging to say the least, but one perk of this is that I have my girl. Always easier with her around.


Karsi July 11, 2008 at 10:17 am

I am finally going to unpack from our trip to Israel. We got back late Sunday. Also help some friends move. AFGO…ha ha OK..I am also going to call an interesting “ad” in the Washington Jewish Week. Never done that before. I have been on on-line dating but never in writing dating!!!!


singlemomseeking July 11, 2008 at 9:59 am

Angie: send me a pic of the blouse when you’re done, okay?

The Exception: What are you reading?

Kevin: Running and cleaning… good for taking care of yourself.


singlemomseeking July 11, 2008 at 9:56 am

Oakland Mama: promise us that you will have a cup of tea with a book after fixing that toilet. Go, Mama!

Rebs: Let us know how the stars look.

MC: You crack me up with those unsuitably large trees. Who needs those wilting flowers, when you can plant trees?

T: M asked me this morning if it was 7-11’s birthday. Uh, I don’t know. I told her I’d find out… Thanks!!


singlemomseeking July 11, 2008 at 9:54 am

No way, Susan! I’m speechless.

I was trying to think of an extreme example, something that would make everyone smile (because, c’mon, who’s heard of a skydiving single mom?).

You are a superwoman. I can’t wait to hear about her adventure. And it’s a HOT skydiving date, to boot!


Oakland Mama July 11, 2008 at 9:01 am

Ok, folks, top this. I am going to try (emphasize TRY) to fix a toilet. I’m drawing on all of that single-moms-can-do-it spirit I see in this blog to figure it out. Wish me luck!


Susan July 11, 2008 at 8:54 am

P.S. My deck still looks good and the flowers have grown beautifully. Yours — and you — will, too.


Susan July 11, 2008 at 8:52 am

Rachel, as you know, just recently I learned even more from the AFGO I wrote about back in April — about the nature of that relationship, both good and bad, how people behave, and what is important to me and what isn’t in a partner. But, with each relationship, we can learn something. As my wise friends remind me (like our other blogging pal, T), it prepares you for the next adventure.

Your post is particularly timely because this weekend I AM going skydiving (for me, a tandem jump) — with an acquaintance and her friends, plus someone I’ve been dating for the last few weeks. Now, there’s a growth opportunity! How did you know?!

(I’ve blown my secret now, but I couldn’t resist, seeing that you actually mentioned skydiving in your post! let’s hope it’s not “complicated” like you mention. More to come!)


Rebs July 11, 2008 at 8:27 am

Camping! With the kidlet! Our first time!


mc July 11, 2008 at 8:17 am

Yay, gardening!

I love to grow things, and digging in the dirt and making a outdoor home for beautiful living things seems to satisfy some primal urge.

When I broke off my most recent unsuitable fling, I decided to enjoy the extra time it gave me to go as nuts as I want to with my garden this summer.

So I’ve been planting unsuitably-large trees that I really like, riotous color combinations of flowers that clash and yet fill me with joy, and impractible quantities of vegetables that I’m not really ever going to eat all by myself.

I tell people I’m doing it “to improve the value of my home” but of course it’s just for me. (And also for my kids, of course, who enjoy helping by planting things with “fuzzy leaves” and “alien-looking moon flowers” and then picking them.)


T July 11, 2008 at 7:43 am

I have the kids this weekend and I’m thinking about taking them to one of my favorite spots in Dallas. I used to go to this particular fountain when I first moved here. It only occurred to me that they might enjoy it too.

Today’s 7-11’s 81st birthday and they’re offering free slurpees all day!!! We’re going to partake in those and visit a festival this evening.

I first heard about the AFGO’s from Marianne Williamson. They’re not always fun at the time but great to look back on when you can see the lesson.

I think every relationship/encounter is preparing us for something else. You learned something about yourself while dating the biologist. It will prepare you for greater things!


The Exception July 11, 2008 at 7:33 am

I have a few hours of wonderful “me time” on Saturday while my daughter is at a pool party. I have a strange feeling that I will spend it lying around… reading! It isn’t exciting or glamorous in the slightest, but there is nothing quite like the peace and tranquility that I derive from the words and phrases of a good book. The adventures to experience are… endless! (And when a cat joins me wherever I settle to read… it is that much more of an enjoyable experience)

I will probably do some gardening as well. There are some geraniums that need my attention, some cherry pits to plant (experiment) and the sunflowers… ah, where to begin with the sunflowers. Cleaning or straightening up the house is stressful to me but playing in the soil, tending to the dead leaves, and surveying what needs to be done with my plants is therapy of the highest quality.


Angie July 11, 2008 at 7:25 am

I am going to finally finish my first *adult* sewing project – a blouse for myself. I began sewing a few months ago – lots a pretty smock dresses for my daughter. Now it’s time to get something finished for me!

Pretty pot garden 🙂


kevin July 11, 2008 at 6:53 am

I’m going to run 8 miles and clean out my closet.


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