Comments on: Snapshot: Single mom wears a wedding ring to work

By: On fake wedding rings. « Ms. Single Mama

On fake wedding rings. « Ms. Single Mama — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 12:16:52 +0000

[...] I didn’t realize what a passionate and proud single parent I’ve become until I read this. And now, Kristen is linking to this blog from hers! Hello [...]

By: Loralee

Loralee — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 06:01:02 +0000

I think that she does what she has to for her and her son. It’s her life. Why should Kirsten have to carry the banner of single motherhood if it isn’t what she wants to do?

And?

Isn’t single motherhood difficult enough without your judgment? You are bashing people who are judgmental of single moms, but you seem to have a healthy amount of it ready to put on other people.

By: dadshouse

dadshouse — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 14:43:03 +0000

Crazy Computer Dad nailed this one on the head. No one should judge Kirsten for her choices. No one has walked her shoes but her. I get the point some single moms are making here that you all need to walk the walk. That’s been a feminist cry for ages.

But putting Kirsten down for not being just like you isn’t exactly progress, either. As a single dad, I don’t put down other single dads who stay silent when the schools and their exes deny them communications – I simply point out the injustices I’ve faced, and keep trying to evolve.

We’re all in this together, and we all face different struggles.

By: Your Turn… « Ms. Single Mama

Your Turn… « Ms. Single Mama — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 02:51:08 +0000

[...] This single mom wears a wedding ring! Why, oh why? – Rachel Sarah (Single Mom Seeking) [...]

By: mc

mc — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 18:52:54 +0000

Even wearing a ring doesn’t help keep the lechers and gossips away, unfortunately!

When I was far younger than I am today, and married, I wore my very traditional looking (diamond solitaire) wedding and engagement rings all the time. But I would nevertheless CONSTANTLY get hit on by random guys at work, or who I met riding the bus.

Even my PhD advisor was astonished when I told him I was married, because, he said, that people had been gossiping about how many men I’d been dating (?).

I think certain people will gossip about you no matter what. It’s just an illusion to think that a ring will protect you from that.

By: Nicole

Nicole — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 04:11:20 +0000

I wear a gold band on my ring finger. It was my grandmother’s and it’s the only finger that it doesn’t feel like it’s falling off of.
I’ve done this since high school and it was only after my son was born that people took notice of it, generally with the assumption that I’m married.

For the most part I don’t mind and I just make a quick correction and go on.

If it was a useful deterrent for come ons I would wholeheartedly wear it and show it off but not only does it NOT do that it makes for stranger and creepier come ons.

I am not ashamed in any of being a single mother. I see friends that stay with their children’s fathers for the sake of being not single and I feel bad for them. I want to be happy — not attatched. If I can’t mutually have both then I’d rather the first.

By: ocean

ocean — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 02:46:54 +0000

Judy (back it up!) ~ I love the “claim it by faith” thing! You go, girl! Ms. Single~ I don’t seem to see any ashamed single moms here.. or in most blogs on the ‘net, or out and about in the streets. Seriously- does anyone here feel ashamed of her single mom status? It seems the opposite is more the case with what I read and see- loud and proud? I don’t think shame’s the issue- or the case. Kristin- kudos for keeping private private, and staving off advances in such a simple way. Rockin’ the boat! I think the world knows (for the most part) that single mamas aren’t bringing down the wrath of God anymore. However you get here, though~ I bet sometimes most of us look at those married mamas with the big rocks on their fingers, and dad inside helping the teen with algebra, with a touch of envy. It runs both ways, this life.

By: Catsfour

Catsfour — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 01:20:19 +0000

I raised four beautiful young adults who are the most important work I’ve ever done. For the majority of that time I did not wear a ring. Did not feel the need to for any reason.
I dated quite a bit during this period but was very cautious about who did and did not meet my kids and in most cases never even knew where I lived.
Since “empty nesting” all four of my crew it seemed as if I was wearing a sign on my forehead that only males could read.
I wear a ring, not with a band, someone interested enough to get to know me will ask. I don’t feel that rings symbolize as much today as they have traditionally. Also I work closely with a lot of men. Have found through my own experience that those I must interact with that have spouses or significant others are much more at ease with me when I wear a ring. Sad, but true. I also work in sales and experience a lot of my peers (male & female) acting what I consider to be inappropriately. While sex sells, I don’t win my successes by trying to tie it into my work. Sadly, that isn’t always the case.

By: Alexis

Alexis — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 01:11:47 +0000

I was only dating my son’s father for a month when I got pregnant- so I too am a never been married single mom. I thought about wearing a ring when I was pregnant for just a second, but I never could. And now that he is 18 mos., I can say I never will! How will men know I’m a single hot mama?

By: Linda Sherman

Linda Sherman — Mon, 09 Jun 2008 20:14:01 +0000

Leslie has a good point. The day you wear a fake ring may be the day you meet Mr. Right.

Many Single Moms report they like wearing Singelringen. Singelringen (“The Single Ring” in Swedish) is a unisex status ring for singles. It is a distinctive turquoise blue. The ring has a crescent that is worn facing out to show that the wearer is “open to possibilities” or worn facing in to show “not right now”. Singelringen makes a great gift because we emphasize that the ring reminds the single wearer that they are already complete with or without a partner.

Singelringen is usually worn on any finger on the right hand or on a neck chain or cord. It is normally not worn on the wedding band finger to avoid being confused with a wedding ring but it could be an interesting option for those seeking a symbolic ring on that finger.

Dr. Karen Gail Lewis writes: “Singelringen can be seen as a gift for yourself – to demonstrate to your children you are whole, not broken, yet your love continues to go round and round.”