For many single parents, yours truly included, the stresses of life are often so heavy that we forgot how to let go and laugh — even if it’s just for a short window in our day.
This week, the Biologist got a hold of a bike for me (thanks to his roommate for giving me her old bike!). I hadn’t been on a bike for over a decade. I was getting breathless trying to run after M every day, as she rolled down the sidewalk.
On Mother’s Day, M and I went for a short mother-daughter ride. I was wearing the new red dress I’d splurged on — my Mother’s Day gift to myself — and my boots. Of course, I was wearing my silver helmet, too. And the Shrinky Dink necklace that M had made for me, that said, “Mommy.”
M turned to me with a smirk: “Mommy, you look so silly. You look like you’re going to get married, and you’re riding your bike to your wedding.”
“Hey, that’s a great idea!” I teased. “Would you be my flower girl and ride next to me?”
“No!” she barked. “You are not getting married.”
And so it went. But still, I had fun.
Do tell: How do you have fun?
It could be something as simple as singing loudly in the shower — or as adventurous as surfing.
Photo of one of the first bike rides… I realize her helmet is crooked.
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Read the book! Single Mom Seeking is a tell-all about how to date and remain a dedicated and involved parent. It’s a spunky, sexy, and moving chronicle of the humor, pitfalls, and rewards of balancing it all — single-mom style. |
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I was just thinking about this the other day; how the parallels between the Queens lives and mine were so different–how I wanted to find some common ground for us to all have fun again, in the same moment.
However, when I do find it, I am certain it will not be on a bike.
Fun is in everything everywhere so long as you are not trying too hard to have fun and not trying to be too serious. My son thinks I’m a regular stand up comedian taking him to before school care in the mornings. It is humor or silliness only he or I get, it would seriously annoy anyone else, but he laughs out loud all the way there. We play games outside, and being…um…men…we throw things at each other. We bike and hike around the area. We camp. We kayak and canoe. We play sports. We play video games. We play chess and other assorted board games. We watch movies together. Amusement parks, etc.
For myself and the rare moment my son is not around, I try to get out with friends doing anything. Culture (for varying definitions of culture), karaoke, mountain biking, hiking, scuba, sports (volley ball, dodge ball, kick ball, soft ball, soccer, basketball, surfing, and SNOWBOARDING most of all). Anything a group of people can do I like to do. I like my moments of solitude also (does blogging/writing fall into that category?) like learning to play the piano, reading, yoga, swimming in the ocean. Not many people join me on the more adventurous stuff I’ve gotten into. I also spend time on the various hobbies that revolve around my computers, networking, security, photography, video, etc.
I do find I often fall victim to the “grass is greener” syndrome where I forget to have fun with what I’m doing and wish I was doing something else. My ADD often overwhelms me and I find myself literally running from one thing to the next trying to do it ALL. I’ve recently proven that I can literally fill almost an entire day, 23 hours of contiguous and continuous activity before collapsing.
I have fun — all the time! I make sure of it. Life is too short, too precarious.
We get one trip around the block – and if we don’t laugh a lot, it’s not really worth it. At least not to me!
As a single mom I find that the simplest things are the most fun. For Mother’s Day we spent the afternoon at a Wildlife Sanctuary. Just spending the day with my kids in a beautiful setting was tons of fun for me!
I just try to enjoy every minute I have with my kids. I know that before I blink my eyes they will be grown and I will look back on these times fondly.
B and I have such fun in so many ways! We bike ride, roller blade, play soccer in our backyard-we actually ate dinner in the new playhouse the other day! Sometimes we put in her High School Musical Wii game and pretend we are famous singers. Apparently, it’s pretty funny, because New Husband was cracking up when I went upstairs (he’d been listening). I love to “pretend” with her…we have a blast pretending we just went through our driveway, into Narnia on our nightly walks.
As for Mommy fun, while I go running every night to clear my head and with New Husband (both now and when we lived apart while dating) we love boating. We spend lots of time on the boat just lounging and talking. We like a really long dinner where we share a really good bottle of wine and just talk, non-stop. I’m surprised we aren’t running out of stuff to say.
M looks adorable with that little crooked helmet! B always complains that the chin strap drives her nuts.
I’m a believer that fun comes in small packages, so anytime I’m out and about with my son it somehow manages to turn into fun. The warm weather here means we’re outdoors, either playing ball or just exploring what’s out there — from wooded parks to historic sites. Indoors we hook up the X-box, have drawing contests or build some Lego contraption. Like I said, long as kids are involved we’re good to go.
On a side note, I love the new look to the site, Rachel. And the video was extremely cute. Good luck!
Wow, I wish you dads lived closer to me! I’m such a thinking mom — fun is reading books and writing poetry — and I have such an active kid who loves to run outside, jump rope, and throw things. Let me know if you’re in Cali, okay?
We do tons of things for fun. Last week we did something particularly special – we volunteered at Give Kids The World, a village where terminally ill children and their families can stay while they go to the Orlando theme parks, free of charge (usually done through organizations like Make A Wish). They have Christmas there every Thursday, and Casey and I got to be in the parade. They dressed her up as a snowman and she absolutely adored it. She waved, danced, hugged the kids, posed for pictures. She is still talking about it and begging me to let her go back and do it again soon. She was a natural! We had a ton of fun doing that, had a lot of laughs, and she was reminded of how great she has it.
My son is 3 yrs old and I find for kids that age, their innocence and inquisitiveness can turn pretty much any activity into a fun event. And for me it’s fun just to watch and be part of his age of discovery.
We have our routine of fun times such as our Sundays of exploration/adventure (Zoo, museum, aquarium, American Adventure, Fernbank, festivals, etc). But I find he gets as much enjoyment by us just throwing balls around in the backyard or playing tag running around the house.
For me personally, when I am not working my boy is with me basically all the time. I’ve asked relatives to babysit a few times while I did my “own” thing, but I’ve found I just ended up missing him and telling myself I don’t want to miss a minute of watching him grow and develop. So now, my personal fun times are those moments of solitude after he has gone to bed. It might be reading a book, plopping myself in front of the TV with a bag of popcorn to watch a movie, or working on my hobby websites. I know this blog is centered around dating as a single parent, and my life probably sounds pretty boring but I can’t recall a time in my life when I’ve had as much fun (albeit with moments of total frustration and sadness).
One of the happiest day of my life was when my very brave daughter who is 6 years old was able ride the chairlift with ma and hit the slopes! I snowboard and she skis. And, goodness, she’s already faster than me. Now she tells me that she wants to snowboard like her mum!
Fun is something I have to be very conscious of–it’s easy to forget because I lead such a fast paced life. Nevertheless, humor always works–we both laugh a lot!
Fun is anything i do while spending time w/ my kids! When their faces light up…it’s fun!
I’m with all the other parents who say that for them, fun is with their children. While I have a male friend who likes to go out, he understands that more often than not I’d simply rather be with my daughter.
It seems like every weekend she gets dragged along while I run the errands that I’m not able to accomplish during the week. (She can usually stay with the grandparents but she’s at an age where she wants to be with me constantly.) So I make it a point to always include at least one fun activity for her. We’re fortunate that there are a multitude of kids or at least kid-friendly events in our area (concerts, dance performances, ethnic and cultural events, fairs and carnivals, etc.), and we go to the library together and take turns picking out books in our respective sections.
As well, often we do something as simple as letting her pick out a DVD from Blockbuster and sometimes getting a pizza from her favorite place, or going for ice cream after dinner.
She likes to do pilates with me and help me in the kitchen (she also likes to watch “the cookers” on Food Network), and our absolute favorite activity is turning up the music and having what she calls a “dance party.”
M told you you’re not getting married!
Smart little girl you’ve got there.
: )
Starting to believe marriage is for the birds. Fun? We actually make time every single night to walk through my neighborhood or hop over to the park behind my apartment. And of course, the coffee shop…cute, smart men in there.
Always nice to mix in some man scoping while we’re out.
As a co-parent, when sidekick’s with me, it can be just non-stop- hikes, bike rides, paddle, movies, bookstores, eating out, camping, hanging out with other people. I do miss him when he’s with mom, though I do get to do the single stuff when he’s not with me.
Bike rides are awesome:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/53528766@N00/619138800/
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aI5KK3U_aFM
Avigail is like us too…B and I snowboard and when she went off the chairlift, I was glowing I was so proud.
Good topic Rachel.
If there is any “man scoping” to be had while on these outings, it’s always nice to have a Singelringen on as well.