My 68-year-old father would love to see me with a smart, kind, generous, loving guy — happily ever after. I’m sure that he’d love to see my 34-year-old sister tying the knot, too. Both of his daughters would be sharing mortgages with reliable men, and his evening angst would lessen.
Do your parents feel this way, too?
My last break up was quite stressful on my dad. He lost so much weight that his friends demanded to know what diet he was on.
My sister and I, however, support each other’s singleness. We are serious about our careers, we are still finishing homework from childhoods. We don’t lay around waiting for Mr. Right to walk past. We love to make our own decisions, and dream in cozy corners.
As for my mom’s wishes, she asked me last year not to write about her — and I’m doing my best to honor that.
I’d love to know: Do your family members ever hint that they’d love to see you remarried?
Or, maybe they’re not so sweet and subtle about their future hopes for you?
Do other family members ever drop hints?
Photo: circa 1980, I’m on the left, my sister is on the right — and that’s our dad in the middle
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Read the book! Single Mom Seeking is a tell-all about how to date and remain a dedicated and involved parent. It’s a spunky, sexy, and moving chronicle of the humor, pitfalls, and rewards of balancing it all — single-mom style. |
{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }
My father would like me to find a “nice, Jewish man.” Ha! Dream on! There has been quite a bit of pressure on his part for me to find that special man. It’s rather irritating and it makes me feel disrespected as a healthy, hard working, loving mother (oh, and single too).
Rachel,
I would like to thank you for your topics, that somehow always seem to relate what is going on in my life at the moment.
I just happened to have a conversation with my older sister last weekend who is married to a wonderful man and they have two wonderful children. They met in college and have done everything by the book. Which works for them.
She said to me last weekend that she feels like I don’t try hard enough to meet someone. She said “why aren’t you online, how often do you go out”. I said “what happened to people just meeting each other and also where do you think I might fit that in between work, chorus, ballet, soccer and girl scouts?”
She ignored my comment and started brainstorming with my brother in law who they might be able to set me up with.
Thanks again!
My dad is desperate to walk me down the aisle, but at the same time is very proud of how well I’ve managed to juggle being a single mom with working, getting a college degree and many other things. He doesn’t say anything very often about wanting me to get married, but I know it’s there, and I understand where he’s coming from. When he complains to my mom, she tells him “What? So she can have another chlid to take care of?” LOL, exactly. Until I find a man who doesn’t expect that, I’m okay with my single status.
Oh my family would love to see me happily married (I’ve done unhappily married, it’s over-rated). But they never mention it. My friends would like to see me married because they are and single people make married people itch!
I know that both of my parents would LOVE to see me in a relationship and married one day, but not because they think I need anyone, but more because they don’t want me growing old alone. For the first few years after I left him I had convinced myself that I was very much better off single. I had friends, I had family, what did I need a man for? Considering the relationship I had with my X, the healing process took a bit of time, but I think that just maybe, I’m ready to take the step again…..now…if only to find him! LOL
I come from a fairly religious family, and my grandparents have actually kept my baby a secret from my great grandma because they’re afraid she’ll “make herself sick” over the whole situation since she has very strong opinions about sex outside of marriage. My grandparents have also asked me numerous times if Anna’s father and I will get married. It’s still a possibility in my mind, but it’s just not the right time in my life to get married (whether or not it’s to him).
Fortunately, my parents are mostly concerned about me finishing up my last few semesters of school, but I know that they’d like to see me get married at some point in the future.
Both of my parents are proud of me and everything that I’ve achieved—as a single parent. Neither one can stand my ex because of everything he put me through, but at the very least, they’d like for him to step up to the plate and be a father to our child. Of course they’d like for me to meet a nice man and have some help after the schmuck I was married to, but they know that I’m not going to settle, and no one in my family pressures me about it or even makes comments.
And, several years later, despite now being divorced, family members still talk about and give me kudos on our wedding! I had a whirlwind romance and did everything “right,” according to American custom and that of my culture, I just unfortunately fell for the wrong guy.
But everyone from parents to other family members to friends, are all very supportive of my single status.
Oh, my gosh…YES to all of your questions (except maybe the subtle hints). Seriously, it bothers my dad more than my mom, but they both want to see me enjoy a happy, fulfilling relationship.
Me, too.
my mom cannot have a sane conversation about me being single because she does not get it still and while she wold rather me be married she would be even worse and more awkward with the dating/introduction/wedding.
My dad loves the way it is now and would love it if I were married. (he’s easy)
My daughter says she does not care but I know she would hate for me to be in a relationship.
My siblings are impartial. 2 are married, one is single and all have kids.
Subtle? Ha! My mom goes from one extreme to the next – “Oh you’re smart to wait, marriage is long time, believe me!” to “oh she’ll never get married”. She loves to bring this up at a family gathering, I think it’s one of those things she thinks we should address since everyone must wonder about.
Dad worries he’ll be stuck being the guy to take care of us if needed forever and what happens if he dies. My grandparents want me to find a nice husband too and my grandma’s started in telling me quite often I need to give her more babies to hold and so on. Yes, that’s what I need right?
Somedays I want to yell at all of them for making me feel like a loser in their various ways when they should be supporting me for not marrying a loser. Well mostly my mom
I know the rest mean well.