I have no ex that can take the kids for a weekend. Okay, well…I do, but it wouldn’t be legal.

My dad is wandering around in Asia. My mom is heavily medicated. My one sister is in Arizona, the other too busy herself. My brother is a…dick.

Friends? Oh, yeah. I just moved here (in the middle of nowhere) a few months ago. I have two kids.

I don’t see a snowball’s chance in hell of having sex (unless it’s with myself) any time in the near future.

And really, I can’t (and don’t want to) pay someone to watch my kids so I can run off and get laid.

Wish I had a single mom girlfriend nearby that could trade weekends with me and the kids could sleep over there one week, then at my place the next. *sigh*

In saying that, could I make a mistake? Could I think that I am going to marry somebody & then have it end up that we don’t? Sure. But like most things in life you have to take that leap of faith… and I have to trust myself and my feelings… and my kids.

I agree with singlemom – sex is not bad. If you do not believe in sex before/without marriage then that is one thing… but if you are ok with it – then…

I am in no way advocating that my chidren are old enough to know/talk about sex (6 & – but I am saying that they can understand that I love my boyfriend and we want to be together. Like couples do.

I’m in a committed relationship that is long distance. We see each other once a month, mostly in my city, since he’s planning to move here. However, as of this moment, he is not a consistent part of my nearly-3-year-old’s life. So, I don’t talk him up. They don’t talk on the phone unless my son happens to ask to talk on the phone to whomever I’m talking to (which lately, he does often, but usually, I talk to my significant other after the little man is sleeping). When he comes to spend the weekend, he spends it here, in my home. Aware of how attached my son is to me, I have chosen not to make it seem like this man is sleeping in my bed, because sometimes my son likes to snuggle with me there (we have special Saturday snuggle days). We go to bed after my son goes to bed, and before my son wakes up, we are dressed and getting breakfast ready with playtime for him waiting.

When he moves to my city, it is not to move in with me… he’ll be getting his own place, and we’ve already talked about setting boundaries (that will be VERY hard to keep) for my son’s good. I don’t want him to think that anyone is moving in on his mom too quickly. We will probably have one or two dinners at my place during the week, and one sleepover on the weekends. From there, I’m sure the way will be made known as we will be moving further and further into committed territory.

My plan is to answer my son’s questions as honestly as I can whenever they come up. The other day, in the bath, he asked me, “Momma, why do I have these two balls under my penis?” and I said, “because when you’re a grown up they will help you to make babies.” He seemed completely satisfied with that, and I was, too, knowing that my own parents would have blown a question like that off, or said, “stop touching yourself!” I learned that I could tell him the truth in answer to the question that he asks… no more no less, just give him the answer.

It takes discipline to do what you think is right for your child and your family and I think that is the common thread that we all share. It also takes a lot of courage to just tell the truth and save yourself from potential hypocrisy.

As for sex, the answers ranged from abstinence, to the hotel to the backseat of the Chevy to behind locked doors. Personal preferences/morals/beliefs/lifestyles.

I don’t think sex is taboo. It is just another one of those things that takes on a different meaning with a child and involves some deeper levels of thinking and planning.

What’s wrong with showing our children what a healthy, loving relationship looks like? Doesn’t a healthy, loving relationship include sex?

Single mother have been hit the hardest—we’re told that we must have messed up simply because we’re single mothers—many of my single mom friends, including myself are highly educated and have very lively and peppy children. Come visit us–
Rachel has a daughter who walks in a very poised way with such confidence. She’s smart, witty and by golly, voice her opinions with no shame.
My kid is always the talk of the class because she’s so happy, perky and damn smart.
Are we doing something wrong here because we have happy children?

No. So, we have a right to have sex with the man we love!

If you knew me, you’d be looking at Self-Control. Self-control is how I raise my kid solo, run my own business, pay the bills, grocery shop, get up at 6:30 a.m. every morning. I’m probably way too self-controlled.

Why shouldn’t I be having sex? Because I’m a single mom?

I think I’m being misunderstood here. I’m NOT talking about bringing “a new strange man” into my house. I’m talking being with a man whom I’ve been dating for a long haul.

As many women have pointed out here, however, it’s a matter of being creative. There’s his place. There’s the motel down the street. There’s a car….

If “no sex before marriage” works for you, congratulations. You might be amused to know that what I was told growing up, throughout my own childhood.