Comments on: Beware of blogging about your ex

By: Single Mom Seeking revenge | Single Mom Seeking...

Single Mom Seeking revenge | Single Mom Seeking... — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 07:24:22 +0000

[...] I had this foreboding that I’d see Him. Him as in the ex-boyfriend. [...]

By: singlemomseeking

singlemomseeking — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 17:27:28 +0000

Ms. Single Mama: you crack me up.
You deserve to be with a man who’s sending you technological love notes at least a few times a day.

By: Ms. Single Mama

Ms. Single Mama — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 13:49:49 +0000

My ex-husband doesn’t even know how to use a computer. I, like Dad’s House, try to be very careful about what I write. The best things about blogs … some day, when he’s old enough to read it I can just delete my entire category on the Ex.

And by the way … I never, ever, ever cut down Benjamin’s father in front of him. And I never will. Because like Avigail says, it’s too hard on the kids – no matter what their age.

By: Katie Burke

Katie Burke — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 16:29:43 +0000

I do it, but it’s interesting how the perspective shifts with time and distance from the pain. I used to let her rip because I found writing so cathartic … but I always protected the anonymity of the other person by changing his name. Now that I’ve healed the scars from recent relationships, the people about whom I write probably wouldn’t mind being portrayed in the light they are. But I still keep them anonymous, out of respect.

It’s interesting that you wrote about this today, as I wrote a blog post about a past relationship last night.

By: Shannon

Shannon — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 16:25:53 +0000

Ok so in my situation, my blog is virtually anonymous except for one friend whom I trust not to say anything. There isn’t the chance of my kiddo getting sight of it and the ex definitely won’t. So I do blog to vent. There would be more risk of it, if I wrote it all out in a journal-she’d be able to find that (besides I type really fast). And I don’t so much bash him, I just tell my side. I know he tells his…and he does so verbally. Although his side is “everyone else made up lies about me”.

By: QTMama

QTMama — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 15:31:01 +0000

I think for me, blogging about my breakup (not from husband but from boyfriend) was more of an expression of feelings and thoughts – not so much a bashing. Trying to understand … and I can honestly say that the support I’ve found from the readers has helped in my healing process. I think my only bashing was renaming him Richard (Dick) in my blog. *laugh* I’m ok with that.

By: Crazy Computer Dad

Crazy Computer Dad — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 11:13:34 +0000

My parents divorced when I was seven. There are a lot of things I remember about that time. Mostly my brother and I were outside of it, at someone else’s home. I don’t know everything that happened between them. I hear things during family discussions here and there. I’ve pieced some events back together. Mostly I have never really wanted to know and I still don’t. I know that I had two parents that loved my brother and I, and that they did the best they could for us once the differences were settled.

I’ve tried to do the same for my son. While I may vent to friends about his mom, I don’t mention her much in my blog. I have worked very hard over the last 6-7 years to make sure he has a good relationship with her. I really don’t think he ever needs to know the details about the mistakes and I firmly believe that the children will figure the important parts out when they are older, regardless of the distortions injected by one parent or the other.

I have said many things about ex-girlfriends on my blog, but I probably shouldn’t have done that either. I’ve taken some posts down. Some posts I don’t publish. I found that during the breakup of my marriage, writing was a very good outlet for my emotions. At times when I thought I would just go insane late at night I just started writing. The blog has been that for me since then. I vent frustrations, temper tantrums, etc. Many of us appear to have our lives all together, but my blog is a place where I can kind of write about everything that is both good and bad. I don’t have to take it out so much on family and friends. In some cases I have connected with others that are going through similar things…and it is nice not to be alone when going through some of those things. There are always unintended consequences though.

By: VJ

VJ — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 07:59:01 +0000

Reasons 1-256 why:

I write & comment under a pseudonym. Why I don’t blog. And why I even rarely write emails to the wife. Especially at work. Even when using email, I usually take the perspective that it’s as ‘public’ as a piece of US mail. Not all that perishable, and fully able to be read later for some incriminating bits for someone to possibly use for nefarious purposes. So I’m fairly cautious. Not at all the bloggy type.

But hey, if I don’t like you or I’m having an argument with you, I’m more likely to say these things to your face than not. Then I’m likely to try and forget it if at all possible, or too troublesome or unresolvable. But hey, then again I don’t have any angry & bitter Ex’s either. I know. Go figure. And I know I’m still older than most of the people on the board here too! Cheers & Good Luck, ‘VJ’

By: RandomEsq

RandomEsq — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 05:23:13 +0000

I wrote about my ex when we were together and I sometimes write about her now – but I’ve never said a bad word about my ex in my blog. I didn’t when we were together and I don’t now. I know that it comes down to the purpose of the blog/writing but for me…it just doesn’t belong in my blog. I understand the need to vent or to hash things out and even to receive feedback on it. But there’s sometimes an element of passive aggressiveness in ex-bashing-blogging and that bothers me. If I sense that in reading someone’s blog, I am uncomfortable. If it appears to be simple expression of feelings and thoughts, I completely understand that. I’m too private to write about that stuff but don’t hold it against others who do.

-R.

By: andrea frazer

andrea frazer — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 04:23:14 +0000

This issue has come up very recently for me. All I know is that there is a fine line between venting and being meanspirited toward another. How much do we need to be validated by the world – people we don’t really know other than what we are willing to show? Very very hard. I am struggling big time with this.