Dating
When a single mom introduces the Boyfriend to her Kid
Well, I did it. More than two months after my first date with the Biologist, I introduced him to Mae.
As you might recall, I’d uninvited the Biologist from our East egg hunt — after Mae said that she didn’t want to meet him. All of you were so helpful with your advice.
Amy from My Three Blogs responded to my plea for the when-and-how:
“There is no answer. It’s organic. If you keep the lines of communication open between all of you… then you will know when it’s right.”
As every week passed, Mae kept asking questions (”Where are you going, Mommy?” and “Who are you going with?”). I let her know that she could meet the Biologist whenever it felt right. Then, after I suggested that we could go out for a post-birthday ice cream treat (as in, “This is all about you, sweetie”), she jumped up and down.
I was trying not to laugh when The Biologist called me that morning: “I don’t know why,” he said. “But I’ve never been this nervous about meeting an eight-year-old.”
Remember: he has never dated a single mom. He’s immersed in academia and doesn’t really know any single moms.
Thank goodness he has all of you single mama bloggers out there. He tells me that he often browses single mom blogs for advice. I told him to just “be yourself.”
When he came to the door, Mae was shy for about 10 minutes, and that was that. I drove us to her favorite ice cream parlor, where she and The Biologist both ordered mango ice cream — but Mae got marshmallow fluff on top.
Things got out of control, however, when Mae got a hold of her “Whoopee Cushion” — a birthday present, not from me. First, Mae proceeded to explain to the Biologist how loudly The Israeli (my ex-boyfriend) used to fart. (I did my best to keep a straight face.) Then, she asked the Biologist to stand up, and she tried to distract him as she put the “Whoopee Cushion” on his chair.
Let’s just say that there was never a dull moment after that.
Single Minded Women interviewed Max Sindell, a recent college grad who wrote The Bright Side: Surviving Your Parents Divorce for young readers. Max advices single parents to “explain to your kids that you are going to be dating….No surprises.”
Max didn’t meet any of his Mom’s boyfriends until it was “more serious.” He added: “My mom was also great about asking for and respecting my opinion.”
If you have any The Kid Meets My Date stories, do share! I can’t wait to hear them.
Photo courtesy of Adela
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Tags: Children, Divorce, introducing the boyfriend, Max Sindell, meeting the boyfriend, Men, Mother-Daughter, Single Minded Women, single mom, single mom and dating, Single Moms, single moms dating, single parent, Single Parents, Surviving Your Parents Divorce, talking about dating, The Bright Side Discussion
8 comments for “When a single mom introduces the Boyfriend to her Kid”
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I am launching back into the world of dating (maybe this weekend!) and am very interested in tips from all the other single moms out there.
So bring on the stories and the advice!
Thanks, as always, Single Mom Seeking for bringing us all together!
Glad things are going well and the into went smoothly! (Ice cream is always a good…ice breaker!)
I wish I could say I had kids’ intro stories, but mine are on hold for the time being — the stories and my relationship/dating. I’ll be very prepared for the day by reading others’ tales.
You did the right thing in focusing on Mae having fun. She should be the center of your universe, whether it’s just you two, or a romantic partner comes along.
I took a similar approach when my kids met 2 girlfriends of mine - first one, we all went to the park to kick a soccer ball around. second one, she brought her dog over for my kids to meet the dog. Later, they learned I was dating these women. (I’m sure they guessed it, but them not knowing so ahead of time removed pressure)
Marshmallow on mango sounds yummy!
When my dd met V first time, she told him all about my special friend R (who is also my gay friend, R) and mimicked me for him. Noice.
Ohhh, Ohhh… I just did this too. Well not ice cream but basketball in the park. My kids don’t know the friend they play basketball with is my boyfriend (though as another commenter suggested they probably guess) but they liked him so much they have asked to meet up again. They’ve now hung out with him (and me too of course) 3 times at the park. I couldn’t have planned it better if I tried. We’ll keep hanging out like that for a while but if things continue with him I’ll tell them more in a few months.
I have always had the approach much like “Max’s” mother did. My daughter and I have always had a very honest and open line of communication. I tell her the age-appropriate amount of things and I don’t usually “date” someone unless we are both making a conscious effort at a long-term relationship. Those are the only men she has met.
Mae’s such a character, I love it! Mine’s not shy either, probably why I agree it’s good to wait - wait a good long time til the fella likes me enough to handle the embarrassing things the kid’s going to spout off
Glad things went so well, it was the right time.
It’s sort of a date story—but’s it’s cute. I ran into a father I had dated not too long ago—and he asked what I was doing for the summer. I told him that I was going sailing for a week and then my daughter piped up really loudly, “She’s going with her boyfriend!” She saved the day because I just didn’t have the heart to tell that father that part. Kids honesty really can be beneficial at times.