Comments on: Should you settle for Mr. Good Enough? http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/2008/03/one-single-mom-says-that-you-should-settle-for-mr-good-enough/ Remarried and Remodeling Tue, 08 May 2012 01:39:22 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0 By: Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough | Singlemommyhood.com http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/2008/03/one-single-mom-says-that-you-should-settle-for-mr-good-enough/comment-page-1/#comment-15732 Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough | Singlemommyhood.com Tue, 20 Jul 2010 17:37:58 +0000 http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/2008/03/09/one-single-mom-says-that-you-should-settle-for-mr-good-enough/#comment-15732 [...] Lori Gottlieb’s Atlantic Monthly article “Marry Him! The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough,” first came out two years ago, it made me [...] [...] Lori Gottlieb’s Atlantic Monthly article “Marry Him! The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough,” first came out two years ago, it made me [...]

]]> By: An ex is calling, Part III | Single Mom Seeking... http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/2008/03/one-single-mom-says-that-you-should-settle-for-mr-good-enough/comment-page-1/#comment-6247 An ex is calling, Part III | Single Mom Seeking... Tue, 14 Oct 2008 21:35:57 +0000 http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/2008/03/09/one-single-mom-says-that-you-should-settle-for-mr-good-enough/#comment-6247 [...] to those of you who reminded me to have no expectations. I was going to meet Adam because I was curious, even though my friend Avigail did point out, [...] [...] to those of you who reminded me to have no expectations. I was going to meet Adam because I was curious, even though my friend Avigail did point out, [...]

]]> By: Hollywood options movie about a single mom who settles | Single Mom Seeking... http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/2008/03/one-single-mom-says-that-you-should-settle-for-mr-good-enough/comment-page-1/#comment-4414 Hollywood options movie about a single mom who settles | Single Mom Seeking... Tue, 09 Sep 2008 17:54:06 +0000 http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/2008/03/09/one-single-mom-says-that-you-should-settle-for-mr-good-enough/#comment-4414 [...] article “Marry Him! The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough,” you had a lot to say about not settling. [...] [...] article “Marry Him! The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough,” you had a lot to say about not settling. [...]

]]> By: C H http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/2008/03/one-single-mom-says-that-you-should-settle-for-mr-good-enough/comment-page-1/#comment-1139 C H Fri, 14 Mar 2008 14:53:06 +0000 http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/2008/03/09/one-single-mom-says-that-you-should-settle-for-mr-good-enough/#comment-1139 Dear Rachel, Got home last night after my usual 12-hour workday (I start at 5am)...cooked dinner, washed dishes, did some laundry, and made sure my kids were asleep. I couldn't wait to jump in bed alone, light some candles, and masturbate some more while I thought about this whole "settling" business. P.S. I'm still thinking. And I have a penis. 8-)P Dear Rachel,

Got home last night after my usual 12-hour workday (I start at 5am)…cooked dinner, washed dishes, did some laundry, and made sure my kids were asleep. I couldn’t wait to jump in bed alone, light some candles, and masturbate some more while I thought about this whole “settling” business.

P.S. I’m still thinking. And I have a penis. 8-)P

]]> By: MarriedMom http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/2008/03/one-single-mom-says-that-you-should-settle-for-mr-good-enough/comment-page-1/#comment-1138 MarriedMom Fri, 14 Mar 2008 13:27:50 +0000 http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/2008/03/09/one-single-mom-says-that-you-should-settle-for-mr-good-enough/#comment-1138 I really agree with Andrea, I think what Lori is saying is "get real" more than settle. If you have this great idea in your head of what you're looking for you miss out on a lot of what's right in front of you, for silly reasons. Now I confess I'm married to a guy who is my best friend and genuinely the best person I've ever met, so this is easy for me to say, but my best single friend's (age 35) list (and when I say list, I mean written down and carried in her purse) infuriates me: Must have a gym body. Must have been in at least one serious relationship, but *not* have been married. Must not be a younger man. Must have a professional job (read: advanced degree) but not be a workaholic. And there's more. And I am not making this up. So I'm screaming SETTLE ALREADY. As in, get real. This man does not exist. Give some actual guy a shot. Isn't there something to be said for that? I really agree with Andrea, I think what Lori is saying is “get real” more than settle. If you have this great idea in your head of what you’re looking for you miss out on a lot of what’s right in front of you, for silly reasons. Now I confess I’m married to a guy who is my best friend and genuinely the best person I’ve ever met, so this is easy for me to say, but my best single friend’s (age 35) list (and when I say list, I mean written down and carried in her purse) infuriates me: Must have a gym body. Must have been in at least one serious relationship, but *not* have been married. Must not be a younger man. Must have a professional job (read: advanced degree) but not be a workaholic. And there’s more. And I am not making this up. So I’m screaming SETTLE ALREADY. As in, get real. This man does not exist. Give some actual guy a shot. Isn’t there something to be said for that?

]]> By: Amy http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/2008/03/one-single-mom-says-that-you-should-settle-for-mr-good-enough/comment-page-1/#comment-1130 Amy Thu, 13 Mar 2008 03:23:58 +0000 http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/2008/03/09/one-single-mom-says-that-you-should-settle-for-mr-good-enough/#comment-1130 I'm 43 and have been married and divorced & only NOW do I know what love is. I thought I loved my husband, but obviously did not. Pehaps before meeting my current boyfriend I would have said to settle... but now... It's worth waiting for. I’m 43 and have been married and divorced & only NOW do I know what love is. I thought I loved my husband, but obviously did not. Pehaps before meeting my current boyfriend I would have said to settle… but now… It’s worth waiting for.

]]> By: Believing in the Disney Fantasy of Love…because I want to « Modern Single Momma http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/2008/03/one-single-mom-says-that-you-should-settle-for-mr-good-enough/comment-page-1/#comment-1122 Believing in the Disney Fantasy of Love…because I want to « Modern Single Momma Wed, 12 Mar 2008 06:39:59 +0000 http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/2008/03/09/one-single-mom-says-that-you-should-settle-for-mr-good-enough/#comment-1122 [...] Rachel at Single Mom Seeking for bringing up another good topic for [...] [...] Rachel at Single Mom Seeking for bringing up another good topic for [...]

]]> By: liv http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/2008/03/one-single-mom-says-that-you-should-settle-for-mr-good-enough/comment-page-1/#comment-1120 liv Wed, 12 Mar 2008 03:15:25 +0000 http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/2008/03/09/one-single-mom-says-that-you-should-settle-for-mr-good-enough/#comment-1120 hi, i made the bounce from pass the zoloft... i am a 30 year old single mother of two with a 10 year marriage behind me. (i know, i fast-tracked it!) now, more than ever, i want the love and passion that wasn't there for me the first time around. granted, what i want is completely different than it was when i was 21. the dating scene is scary, and annoying, and tiresome, BUT if playing the game is a way to find true love, i'm going to do it. i'm not looking for mr. perfect because LORD knows i am not, but i am looking for mr. right for me. hi, i made the bounce from pass the zoloft… i am a 30 year old single mother of two with a 10 year marriage behind me. (i know, i fast-tracked it!) now, more than ever, i want the love and passion that wasn’t there for me the first time around. granted, what i want is completely different than it was when i was 21. the dating scene is scary, and annoying, and tiresome, BUT if playing the game is a way to find true love, i’m going to do it. i’m not looking for mr. perfect because LORD knows i am not, but i am looking for mr. right for me.

]]> By: Ms Single Mama http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/2008/03/one-single-mom-says-that-you-should-settle-for-mr-good-enough/comment-page-1/#comment-1118 Ms Single Mama Wed, 12 Mar 2008 02:07:57 +0000 http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/2008/03/09/one-single-mom-says-that-you-should-settle-for-mr-good-enough/#comment-1118 I agree with Random Esq. She chose these words to tick us off. However...what really struck me was her line of marrying someone for a paycheck. I was a broke single mom...fortunately I cracked out of that on my own - without the help of a man (unless you count the one who hired me). That just made my stomach roll. Why the desperation to get married? What does that teach your kids? But yes - I think that for any single mom - having had a child with a man - we have naturally become more realistic about the whole "happily ever after thing." I know I am. But, to hell with settling. To hell with getting married. In my experience, men are high maintenance. I agree with Random Esq. She chose these words to tick us off.

However…what really struck me was her line of marrying someone for a paycheck. I was a broke single mom…fortunately I cracked out of that on my own – without the help of a man (unless you count the one who hired me). That just made my stomach roll.

Why the desperation to get married? What does that teach your kids?

But yes – I think that for any single mom – having had a child with a man – we have naturally become more realistic about the whole “happily ever after thing.” I know I am. But, to hell with settling. To hell with getting married. In my experience, men are high maintenance.

]]> By: ModernSingleMomma http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/2008/03/one-single-mom-says-that-you-should-settle-for-mr-good-enough/comment-page-1/#comment-1117 ModernSingleMomma Tue, 11 Mar 2008 22:58:44 +0000 http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/2008/03/09/one-single-mom-says-that-you-should-settle-for-mr-good-enough/#comment-1117 Its so interesting to me to read that love could ever be "settled" upon. Its seems like an anomaly. What I love most about love is the license it gives you to engage in magical thinking....if you can't believe in a "disney-esque" fantasy when it comes to falling in love, when can you? As a single mom, there is enough left-brain, logical and practical thinking that i must engage in to make it thru the day...I need to allow at least one side of me the indulgence of a dream.... I choose to believe romance, trust and amazing chemistry is possible to be found in one partner. No I haven't found it yet, but I love imagining it. And I believe keeping the hope alive, and NOT settling, brings a little skip to my step when I step out of the house each day, open to the possibiilty that I might, just might, meet someone who I can become absolutely enchanted with, disney style. =) Its so interesting to me to read that love could ever be “settled” upon. Its seems like an anomaly.
What I love most about love is the license it gives you to engage in magical thinking….if you can’t believe in a “disney-esque” fantasy when it comes to falling in love, when can you?
As a single mom, there is enough left-brain, logical and practical thinking that i must engage in to make it thru the day…I need to allow at least one side of me the indulgence of a dream…. I choose to believe romance, trust and amazing chemistry is possible to be found in one partner. No I haven’t found it yet, but I love imagining it. And I believe keeping the hope alive, and NOT settling, brings a little skip to my step when I step out of the house each day, open to the possibiilty that I might, just might, meet someone who I can become absolutely enchanted with, disney style. =)

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