My two girls are so darn nosy, its hard to keep things from them. The worst was when they knew I was dating my soldier (the man I’m falling for/in limbo with). I decided I needed to make a trip to Victoria’s Secret for some, ya know, girly stuff. As I’m trying on lingerie, with both kids in the dressing room with me(ugh!), my older daughter finds that she likes one outfit in particular and announces, “Mommy, you should wear that for (my soldier)!” ?!!

Yeah, um, I have no idea where she got that idea from. They are WAY too wise for such young kids!

I’ll be reading!

I really wish that I had read more or understood more early on in the process.

When I saw on this blog that there was a book coming out called “Dating for Dads, The Single Father’s guide to Dating well without Parenting Poorly” by Ellie Slott Fisher with Dr. Paul Halpern, I pre-ordered it. Why couldn’t it have come out years ago? There is a lot of good advice in there about single parent dating (and it probably works just as well for women).

I did NOT wait until I thought they were “the one”. To me it seems that puts way too much pressure on everyone – this was a girlfriend my kids were meeting, not a for-sure future step-mom. Looking back, neither of them turned out to be “the one”, but it was still a good experience having my kids meet them.

Kids want their parents to be happy. Mine understand that adult relationships are part of that. They know I date. They’ve liked the two women I’ve had them meet. And they understand that no matter what happens, I will be here for them, loving and protecting them.

She was kind of annoyed with me for not telling her, but she also did just what I was afraid of and got carried away, asking if I liked him and wondering if he would become her step-dad. After one date. I just told her not to get so ahead of herself or put too much stock in someone I didn’t really know yet. And I reminded her that our life was already pretty great, even if I didn’t manage to find her a step-dad anytime soon, and that she does have some great men in her life already (my male friends, my dad, my brother, other family members).

I don’t think you said too much. I think you handled it well. With kids that age, they don’t need a ton of information. I tihnk it’s a good idea to just directly answer their questions and not elaborate unless they ask.

You made me think of something that happened last night. My daughter asked me if I’d ever done drugs. I did, for about a year. I didn’t want to lie to her, so I told her I had. I pointed out that I was a grown up by then, that it was a bad time in my life, and said that it did not make it okay for her to do them. She said she never would, but now I worry that when she gets older, she’ll use it as a justification to try them herself. So, I’m just wondering if I handled it well, and what we are supposed to do in that situation? Should I have just told her it was none of her business? That’s almost the same thing as saying yes.

I don’t have any practical experience on the above topic, but you can be sure I’m reading all of the comments to learn from them for future reference!

I didn’t introduce them to my boyfriend, though, until we were both totally committed to each other, I would not even tell them about dates – but once I “came out of the closet” I was totally open. I started out saying we were “special friends” but they were all “oh, he’s your boyfriend!”

They have accused me of “loving my boyfriend more than them” but then they also accuse me of loving the computer more than them, too! And when they say it I just calmly say that I don’t, that I love them the same and that I have enough love for all of them.

I feel like I had such a bad relationship with their dad, that it is important for me to model a good, healthy, loving relationship…

I think, though, that it seems with M that she does not want to know too much. Just keep the lines of communication open – but I think making it something secret makes it seem like it’s something bad.

They watch tv. They’ve seen Arthur where Buster’s mom has a boyfriend… Kids really know more than you think.