I write/wrote a great deal about my ex, “Boss”, and I think the anonymity helped a great deal – both mine and her own. My friends, however, do read my blog. The important thing for her was to let her know if I was planning on blogging about something (her or our relationship) instead of her reading my blog and finding out that way.

Another very large difference about my blog is that I use it as a my writing outlet, not an emotional one. It is not so terribly intimate, really. I can easily see how someone might balk a little at being “identified” in some way in a blog that touched on pointed, sensitive issues. I do think it hinges on, ultimately, respect for the other person and respect for their privacy. I don’t want to have a relationship with someone and find out that what I thought was a private matter has been made public.

Having said that, I am unapologetic about what I blog about. It’s my blog, I’ll write what I like. But I’m not sure I could say that so confidently if I thought I was making another person feel less than secure in expressing themselves with me for fear it might end up openly discussed with others – however, I don’t think a third party should control the content in an unhealthy way.

That was really on all sides of the fence and I hope it made a lick of sense.

I have another blog with a pseudonym where I talk about my ex and my dates.

It’s not a perfect solution. I’d rather have the complete story in one place, but the pseudonmity option sailed for me a long time ago, and my ex put a blog gag order in the separation agreement. I suppose it’s like having friends lists in LJ–there’s the wide open public blog, and the private blog mostly for friends.

Once, everything is finished and in hand, I may let go of some of the secrecy, but until then, writing is my therapy. It’s a way for me to say everything I want to say, but too tired to tell all the people in my “real” life who of are tired of hearing it all.

If that makes any sense.

And again my mantra these days: Other people’s opinion of me is most often none of my business.

The goal of my blog is to write about the situations us single moms find ourselves in – whether they be dating, life or work. I personally don’t read blogs with play-by-play relationship issues – they bore me.

And for Kris (my guy) he can read posts I wrote on my fears as a dating single mom, or on how to date a single mom…so he does have a guide to go by. For me, writing is a way to sort out my feelings and by the time I’ve written them he’s already heard them from me. So…it’s not like a form of communication for us. Actually, I don’t think he reads my blog obsessively.

The key I think is writing in broader terms to that the readers can gain something from an insight you may have had.

And yes – Rachel, a key for me in a relationship is someone who appreciates my writing which is a passion of mine. If I can’t share it with them – it would be a deal breaker.

Thanks for posting this! Wonderful question.

I do blog about my daughter’s father, but he has found and read it in the past, so entries I don’t want him to read are also locked. That’s pretty rare because I really don’t care what he knows about what goes on with us. If anything I like him to see how much we are thriving without him.

I think it’s different for you because your blog is so public and read by so many people. It’s good that he took you posting about him well!

(Writing a novel is different because I can twist and distort reality into a fiction that has the same, or more, impact.)

I’m not as concerned telling dating stories, especially when the dates didn’t turn into relationships. The things I write in my blog really did happen, but out of respect I’m not using real names.