Comments on: The postman always rings twice

By: Tracking down my UPS man, Part 1 | Single Mom Seeking...

Tracking down my UPS man, Part 1 | Single Mom Seeking... — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 14:58:37 +0000

[...] I’ve written a few blog entries about what has gone down on cetain dates, this is the first time I asked all of you — my oh-so-honest readers — to get involved [...]

By: Sabina

Sabina — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 07:16:41 +0000

“Outside, the rain was still pouring. I held up my umbrella, and we both squeezed under it. He gently put his hand around my waist.” I love this part He seems like a really decent guy, hope all works out for you!

By: Random Esquire

Random Esquire — Sun, 09 Mar 2008 07:54:23 +0000

Hm.

If this guy didn’t have any kids at all and that was not an issue, do you see anything odd about this?

I realize that I am way behind the eight ball on this as I think the Postman has come and gone – but, personally, I can not imagine going out on a date and seeing pictures of a woman’s kid and not asking endless questions about her and the child. I’d feel as if I’d just snubbed her or something. I think one thing that men fail at miserably is this really ridiculous notion that he be number one in a woman’s life. If she has kids, the kids come first and I don’t see what’s so wrong about that. Also, I think men somehow think that being a father is a separate identity or something (hence the “get to know me” thing) whereas women find the two intertwined.

Then again – what the hell do I know? I’m not a single parent nor have I dated a single mother. I stumbled across Ms Single Mama’s blog and have been picking up tips since. (That is also how I stumbled across your blog.)

By: Single Mom Seeking… » Archive » So, did the postman ring twice?

Single Mom Seeking… » Archive » So, did the postman ring twice? — Fri, 15 Feb 2008 23:45:27 +0000

[...] go on a coffee break. (OMG, I’ve never in my life walked side-by-side with a man in uniform.) But again, like on the first date, he talked. And talked. And [...]

By: Judy

Judy — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 05:14:06 +0000

The older my daughter has become the longer I wait to say anything. Some men to this day still wouldn’t know I have a daughter….too many reasons to list..vulnerability for her and me…why drag her into it too early…she’s the most precious thing I have and thus I am more protective of her than anything else….Do you tell that same on your first date the amount of $ in your bank…your SS#…give him the keys to your car?? That’s my soapbox.

By: Single Ma

Single Ma — Sat, 09 Feb 2008 16:29:46 +0000

@ Michelle – No you’re not being over the top. I, too, am very protective of my BabyGirl. Although I’m very honest and upfront about being a single parent – it is who I am – I do not share any details about my daughter. And never ever any pictures of her, especially on a first date. In fact, I think that’s kind of odd. Until I’m extremely comfortable with the person and I think the relationship has potential beyond just “dating,” the only thing he will know is that I have a child. That’s it.

By: Michelle

Michelle — Sat, 09 Feb 2008 08:28:44 +0000

I’m very upfront about having a daughter with people I’m dating. However, I guess I’m ultra protective of her. In this day and age, I’m a little paranoid of divulging too much personal information. So, although I talk about her all the time, I do not use her name and never show pictures until much later on in the process when I feel it’s safe to do so. I’m very new to the dating scene as a single mama and I’m a big mama bear when it comes to my girl and exposing her to any men I meet. Am I being too over the top?

By: Jorge Fitz-Gibbon

Jorge Fitz-Gibbon — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 16:09:47 +0000

Rachel;
Well done in pursuing the postman, and taking him out on a date. As to him not mentioning his daughters earlier, it does seem odd to me that he didn’t disclose it when you showed him photos of your own daughter. It struck me as the perfect time to mention he was a parent and perhaps even show his own photos.
So, his timing strikes me as odd. However, it sounds like you enjoyed yourself and took pleasure in his company. And you took initiative in arranging a meeting with him. Cudos.
Jorge

By: Susan

Susan — Thu, 07 Feb 2008 15:30:53 +0000

I won’t belabor this because I agree with the folks above who say, cut him some slack. It would have been ideal if he had brought up his girls when you mentioned M, but I suspect, too, that perhaps other women had freaked at the idea/mention. Go out again and see where it goes. And have fun — and trust your instincts!

BTW, Crazy Computer Dad I loved the comment about how guys are boneheaded, don’t know when to give up the plan (or switch to plan b), etc. It made me laugh — and remember guys bumble through all of this, too.

By: VJ

VJ — Thu, 07 Feb 2008 08:48:18 +0000

Reading comprehension. It’s fundamental, people. So is Listening. So where was this Gent Before the date on Sat.? He was at a ‘youth poetry event’. I was going to comment on the last post that more than likely this means that yes, he too has kids. That’s (almost) obvious now, right? Have you heard much youth poetry? Yes, some of it can be quite good. But your kids are usually the stars in your eyes. Which is why most of the parents are there.

So no, I don’t begrudge him not telling you about his kids until the end of the date. He was just taking it slow, and trying to be cautious. I’m sure he had his own reasons. But yeah, ‘your momma swims after troop ships’, classic stuff CCD.

Cheers & Good Luck! ‘VJ’