My poison oak was getting better. Not to gross you out, but the oozing on my arm had stopped. Tuesday night, however, there was this weird rash on my neck.
“M, do you see something on my neck?”
“Yeah, it’s all red.”
I wondered if I’d reinfected myself, but it didn’t look like poison oak. I phoned the on-call doctor, who thought I might be having an allergic reaction to the antibiotics. I stopped taking them and went back to my regular doctor the next day; the rash had spread over my neck and chest.
The poor guy, he now had so many variables to deal with — along with the emotional and exhausted single, itching single mom who couldn’t sleep because the steroids had her so wired. This morning, he looked at the rash again — at its worst — and said that maybe I’m allergic to the steroids, or perhaps a preservative in the steroids.
When suggested another allergy medicine, I said, “Look, I don’t seem to deal well with all this medicine—”
Which is nothing new. I can’t even take a Benedryl, it makes me so panicked and edgy. So, he has cut my steroid dose in half, but he said that just to be extra cautious, he wants me to carry around an EpiPen in case I have an allergic reaction. To hear that kind of sent me over the edge.
I went to my local, crunchy, alternative pharmacy to see what they had to say. I was hoping the pharmacist would tell me, “An EpiPen? You don’t need one of those–”
But no. She said, “You should teach your daughter how to use one, too — just in case.”
One of my best single mom friends sent me an email this afternoon: “I’m starting to worry. Is there anything ‘natural’ that can help you? Instead of taking all those meds?”
Little did my friend know, at that moment, I dropping a load of money on acidophilus, as well as a homeopathic remedy for stress and irritability.
On my way to pick up M at school, I called one of my single mom friends who knows the EpiPen very well: her daughter is allergic to bees. I don’t think I’ll need it (I hope not), but just in case, I invited mom-and-daughter over this weekend for a lesson.
I don’t think that M has ever been in this position before — as my nurturer. It feels odd. She was a great helper before we boarded the plane home from NYC — she wrapped my arm with first aid tape over the gauze. She even said last night, “Mommy, I think I’d make a good doctor.” Still, I don’t want to worry her.
Has your child ever had to help you through something like this? Say, a health issue? Worse case scenario, did your kid ever have to call 9-1-1 for you? Or, run for a neighbor because you fell off the ladder?
I need some advice about how to stay cool, calm, and collected. Thanks.
Image courtesy of CSL Biotherapies
 |
Read the book! Single Mom Seeking is a tell-all about how to date and remain a dedicated and involved parent. It’s a spunky, sexy, and moving chronicle of the humor, pitfalls, and rewards of balancing it all — single-mom style. |
{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }
Bio dude like So owes you a really fine dinner for all this extra BS. Just saying. Cheers & Hope you feel better soon. ‘VJ’
Rachel,
I’m so sorry to hear about your condition. No wonder you used to go for the toolbelt types! Seriously, I’m hoping you’ll be on the mend soon…
Lexi hasn’t had to help me with any real illnesses yet, but she is rather understanding and nurturing when the occasional migraine surfaces, or I’m PMSing, or overall just tired and irritable from having done too much. She often encourages me to “take a rest” while she makes her version of dinner or brings me pretend tea or soup.
They recently had emergency training at her preschool and she already knew how to dial 9-1-1 in case of an emergency.
I’m all for natural remedies and holistic meds if possible. I’ve heard that Burt’s Bees has a good soap or tea tree oil or even lemons works. (Lemon juice rubbed directly on is supposed to dry up rashes.) Good luck!
Ouch! Tea tree oil and lemons might work, but probably painful. maybe a cool soak in epsom salts, not hot and that is irritating.
when my girl was little she had helped me change some band aids on my back from a mole removal that had stitches. Kids are a lot stronger then we give them credit for. I think just living with a single mom and our emotional issues makes then stronger.
everything will be fine. more than likely, you won’t need the epipen. i have had some rash issues though not poison oak and stress is a HUGE influence. i stressed myself into very itchy hives last year. it’s not fun.
Oh, and when she was about 10 we took a CPR class together and she has gone when i donated blood. she now is interested in being a doctor at age 14. you never know where the influence comes from.
Good luck Rachel!! You’ll get through it.
Why, yes! Yes, actually Violet has had to be in this position a couple times.
I think Violet & M are the same age now. When Violet was about 4.5 I was pregnant with my son. I was diagnosed with placenta previa. It rarely persists into the 9th month – but in my case it did. I had a cesarean because of it. Anyway, as you get closer to term, your risk for a major hemorrhage goes from 5% to like 95%. Amazingly, I never had one! But everyone had to know what to do if I suddenly just collapsed in the produce section of Whole Foods. It was really, super, horrible to have the spectre of that over our heads. Plus, this was exactly the time when my husband relapsed into addiction (I didn’t know it yet) after 13 years sober together. So – - he was pretty much off in Lolly Land. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I was already single parenting which perversely comforted me when he actually did leave us.
My OB once said children organically understand issues with the body, and even death. We are the ones who screw it up for them with our aversion, fear, and adult spin. I was concerned Violet would be afraid when I told her about 911, and the possibility of my bleeding, but I also realized: She’d be 400% more scared if I said nothing, and simply doubled over. Violet loves science, I just approached it in a very matter-of -act way.
Then, when Eric did leave (super abrupt) I had about an 9 month old baby, and until then I had been a stay-at-home mom. I had no job, no means of supporting us, and my children had never been in childcare. Literally overnight she was my “little helper”. (Guilt pang here but I had no choice.) She would help me get her brother ready, and she helped the nanny know how to warm the breast milk for the bottle, when I was gone at work. I encouraged her to be the “expert” on her baby brother so she could be an advocate for him when I couldn’t be there.
I remind myself how far out modern American society is on the pendulum of “protecting the experience of childhood”. We’ve actually whizzed passed protecting childhood – - we literally engineer it. Previous modern generations allowed for childhood, but also understood that children had responsibilities to their siblings and parents. We’re way, way past that. So – a little dose of “mommy has to count on you now” is not a bad thing, in my book.
Dear Rachel,
Re staying “cool, calm, and collected”…
My daughter occasionally has an asthma attack. More than once when she was very young she had to go to the emergency room because the inhaler didn’t work and she had a very difficult time breathing.
Watching my daughter’s eyes grow to the size of saucers because she couldn’t get a breath was scary. So when she was about seven I decided to show her how to deep breathe. I’m no Dalai Lama. But I’ve used this technique myself — 4 seconds inhale…8 seconds exhale — to relieve headaches and stress. Sometimes just the distraction of doing this exercise helps, even if you don’t quite finish.
It’s been very successful mitigating my daughter’s asthma attacks especially 1) the episode itself, and 2) her angst and consequent “panic” during the episode.
It’s also a great technique for keeping your body and mind calm for most anything. Just this past week she had a bout with a nasty lung, throat, and sinus infection. Her body was a punching bag for the infection and she stayed up most of the night crying because of the headache and body pain. So I sat with her and coached her through her deep breathing to calm her down and to have her focus on something other than her pain. Then I applied gentle pressure to the web near the meat of her thumb to try to relieve her migraine. It wasn’t a cure. But her body was noticeably more relaxed and she wasn’t crying anymore. The antibiotic finally started kicking in and several days later she was feeling well enough to start texting on her phone again — funny how her grilled cheese sandwich orders still kept coming in only now with the requirement that it be sprinkled with a bite size Snicker bar or two!
Anyway, Rachel, may I suggest that you give this a try. It does take practice. But if you stick with it you may find that it’s an effective method to combat stress and help you stay calmer.
One more thing: check with your doctor to see if the supplements — oils, powders, and pills — have any side effects when combined with your steroid-based or other medicines. Some people don’t realize that naturopathic-type supplements are still drugs and can cause interactions e.g. some people on the blood-thinner Coumadin shouldn’t take an Omega oil supplement because it can enhance the effect of the thinner. (Check out some of Dr. Andrew Weil’s books; he’s a Harvard-trained M.D.)
With that said…maybe just lighting a candle and having your daughter help you draw a nice Aveeno bath would do the trick, eh? And what a cool way of having her be part of your cure!
Just some food for thought, Rachel…
Bon appetit! 8-)P
VJ: I told Bio dude that I can’t see him until the rash goes away… I just don’t feel like me. (But maybe he’ll read your advice?)
Legal Editor Mom: Here’s to teaching our kids how to dial 9-1-1.
Butterfly Mom: Yes, Tea Tree Oil helped SO much when I first got the poison oak… but now the poison oak is gone, and it’s some weird allergic reaction to the steroids. I’m going off them. Thanks.
GregPeckFan: Thanks for sharing your story. Wow. And you’re right: when I sat M down and gave her the drill re: the EpiPen, she was completely mature about it all.
CH: Wow, this is uncanny because exactly what you say here… is what I’ve been doing.
The deep breathing is all that has calmed me down. Really, it does work. And today, because of all the strange allergic reactions, the doctor said I can discontinue the steroids. I just don’t do well with drugs. I’m relieved.
Rachel, it’s not some wierd allergic reaction to steroids since our body manufactures them to counter “allergic” responses. The body can over-react which may be occurring, and it could be another compound in the medication. With the distribution of the rash it doesn’t seem like another secondary infection. Reaction to the antibiotic is certainly possible especially penicillin.
If you react as you say you do to Benadryl, be prepared for a real jolt with epinepharine. You should definately use it if you begin having difficulty breathing. It gets real serious here. The rash won’t kill you, but no oxygen to the brain…?
We manufacture epi all the time, use minute amounts, or more, every day. But if you are particularly sensitive to larger amounts, be prepared to go light-headed, get cold and clammy, then pass out. Make sure that M or whoever is aiding understands what to watch for. Have whoever get you safely on the floor, head slightly elevated, covered with a blanket. Call 911, yes, but this is not a life threatening reaction. Coming to, you’ll feel nauseated and basically wiped out for up to a day.
No one mentioned aloe vera. It’s good for the rash.
Thanks for the Doc advice Dr. J… Oh, yes, I’m using aloe vera like a crazy woman. It’s really soothing.
I stopped the antibiotics on Tuesday night, so those are ruled out. I stopped the steroids yesterday, with permission from the on-call doctor. It was just too scary for me, feeling like I was going to pass out every time I took them.
“Wiped out” would be a good description of how I’m feeling… but I’m better today. Thanks!!
Thankfully the boy has never had to call 911 for me.. But he certainly showed his nurturing side last year..
In January of 2007 I had MAJOR knee surgery (long story short my whole leg had to be re-aligned to keep my knee-cap on the top of my leg)
He was so patient with me while I was immobilized and in bed. He behaved him self for most of the time I was on crutches and was even understanding because Mom couldn’t run and play for a good long while.
What really surprised me was how supportive, motivating and helpful he was with me doing my exercises. He would remind me to do my leg lifts, go and get the strap and giant rubber band for me. He did a lot of the exercises with me then rubbed my hand or head while I iced down afterwards…
I have to say it was the cutest and most sweet thing I have ever seen him do.
But alas, just like many things, all good things usually come to an end. Here we are a year later and my maniac of a son is his crazy ol’ self, almost as if he is making up for the 6 months of “having to be ‘nice’ to Mommy”
Oh well at least now I can keep up with him, run and play and take him places…
Oh yeah, Acidopholous is GREAT stuff. I’ve heard that probiotics are great in general.
One time there was a water emergency in my town… some time of feces (yuck) had contaminated the water and I’d already had a bunch.
So I ate a bunch of acidopholus and it kept the bad bacteria at bay. No sicky at all.
Hope you are feeling better…
Brad