Advice
What’s your advice for Heath Ledger’s ex?
UPDATE: If you haven’t read single mom Jeanie’s blog about Michelle, do so now. “Jeanie in Paradise” says that Heath’s death “struck fairly close to the bone” because her ex died when her daughter was 22 months old.
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As you’ve surely heard, actor Heath Ledger, 28, was found dead yesterday. Although it’s still unclear whether or not he committed suicide, the reality for his daughter is very clear: two-year-old daughter, Matilda Rose will be raised solo by her actress mom, Michelle Williams, 27.
The couple was not married, and they had split up in September 2007. But if you read any of the tabloids, Heath had been a very-involved dad.
Heath and Michelle had met on the set of one of my favorite movies Brokeback Mountain; they had both been nominated for Academy Awards for their roles as husband and wife.
I can’t help but wonder if he’d signed a will. (How does that work in Hollywood?). Of course, I also wonder how Michelle will explain to Matilda that her dad is dead. There’s talk that he was dealing with alcoholism. (Which is a subject I know that I’ll have to broach one day with my own daughter.)
I hope that his real estate goes to Michelle: at one time, they lived in a $2 million townhouse near Cobble Hill in Brooklyn, New York. In 2006, the SFGate.com reported that they’d purchased a $2.3 million home in the Hollywood Hills.
Single moms: What advice would you give to Michelle? What would you tell her about grieving and moving on?
Let’s hope that Michelle and Matilda have lots of loving support right now.
Photo of Michelle Williams, PR Photos
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Tags: Celebrities, Children, dead, death, Heath Ledger, Matilda Rose, Michelle Williams, Mother-Daughter, single mom Discussion
4 comments for “What’s your advice for Heath Ledger’s ex?”
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Death of one’s parent (or any loved one) is tragic, but I do believe that it will be easier for his young daughter to deal with in never really “knowing” him and remembering him, than in having him taken away if she was older. (As an aside, I always thought it would be easier to explain to my daughter that her father was dead, than to have to explain that he was just an absentee father.)
Michelle Williams should share all her positive memories of Heath with Matilda when she’s old enough, recounting the many ways in which he was involved in her life, and constantly remind her that he loved her.
I had actually started a post about this before seeing your question - so rather than rewrite the whole thing here, will give you the link.
My ex died when my daughter was 22 months, so this has struck fairly close to the bone with me.
http://jeanieinparadise.blogspot.com/2008/01/ledgernd.html
I think as his ex, hopefully she is not grieving intensely. When my ex died, I didn’t. Her daughter will grow up hopefully being told wonderful stories about her father, and at ages appropriate, she’ll see his movies and know he was talented. She will miss him, but she’ll be fine if she has a good support system.
My husband and I were separated when he died from a heart attack. At the time, our daughter was six. It was confusing for me. We had a difficult separation that wasn’t going well. I had loved him once but didn’t anymore. I didn’t know what my place was.
Since my daughter was a little older, I had to deal with it a little more directly. It was heartbreaking to tell her. I took her to the funeral home the day before to explain to her what would happen and that people, esp her grandmother, might cry because they were sad.
But at the time the impact didn’t sink in. That came later, when she struggled in school, crying and clinging to me, not wanting to let me go. I wanted to cry along with her when she asked me when I would die. I told her my plan was to be here for a long time so that I could be a pain to her when she is a grown up, just like she is to me. That sends her into giggles, even now two years later.
I’ve tried to emphasize the good parts of her dad, hoping she’ll eventually forget the not so good things from the separation. I remind her of how much her dad loved her and the fun things they did together. We talk about him often –mostly to tell funny stories– and we have a special ornament on the Christmas tree for him.
Kids grieve differently and will have a hard time expressing what they feel. I would say talk often, even if it’s painful, and esp. if there was hard times between the two of you. Kids needs their routines and they need to know they are loved and will be taken of.