I thought I needed a husband, but….

by singlemomseeking on December 20, 2007

kissing.jpgToday at BabyCenter’s Momformation, I tell all the married moms out there: “You are all scaring me. Really. All this talk about how you hate your husband–”

Here I am, doing my best to urge you — single mamas — to get back out there and date.

In the meantime, my BabyCenter co-blogger, Andrea Frazer, writes about why she hates her husband — and then 100 married moms promptly chime in to explain why they hate their husbands, too!

Talk about killing the mood.

Photo courtesy of Mike Korn.

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{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

Lexi's Mom December 20, 2007 at 4:12 pm

Rachel,
What’s the question here? Why single moms feel they need a husband, or why women hate their husbands? It’s not clear, but if it’s the latter, I can fill up the page! ;-)
Lexi’s Mom

Reply

singlemomseeking December 20, 2007 at 4:50 pm

Sorry I wasn’t being clear… It’s just that sometimes I have this idealistic vision of married moms — after all, they have a partner who helps them pay the bills, wash the dishes, help the kid with homework… and to give mom a break. But apparently — if you read these moms’ posts about their partners — this isn’t so.
So, what’s wrong with the Modern Day Husband?.. Or, maybe it’s Modern Day Marriage that we need to take a look at?

Reply

Lexi's Mom December 20, 2007 at 9:26 pm

Thanks for the clarification. My situation is a bit different than the norm. After my boyfriend from high school and I got back together 20 years later and got married, he was wonderful, before his deepest, darkest secrets were revealed!

He used to rush home from work to be with me, and not only did he help with housework, but he used to like to go with me to run errands. (He thought couples should do everything together.) He’d sit in or near the dressing room while I tried on clothes and he actually had helpful opinions, he liked to go with me to get my hair done to watch and offer his opinion, he liked to go grocery shopping with me to help plan our meals, and he’d gladly pull up right at the door of other businesses or actually go in with me then run ahead to bring the car around, depending on what I wanted!

His favorite chores around the house were cleaning the bathroom and ironing! He used to get on his hands and knees to scrub the kitchen floor! And he liked to decorate and didn’t mind if I wanted to move the furniture around; he’d gladly help me!

If we were going out and something I wanted to wear needed ironing, I knew I could lay it out on the bed, take a shower, and when I came out, it would be done!

I could go on and on. But what does all of this tell us? Since it didn’t last, does it mean that the fairytale isn’t possible? Since I lived it, if only briefly, I prefer to think that men like this are few and far between.

While for me, the verdict is still out on whether I’d ever get married again after my experiences with bipolarism and drug addiction with this same wonderful creature, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with wanting/needing a husband. It’s certainly understandable considering everything we single mamas have to endure alone. So if you happen to find a suitable mate, one who lasts and doesn’t change on you, please let me know if he has a brother!!

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feefifoto December 22, 2007 at 2:18 pm

As a single mom by choice I’ve heard many, many complaints from friends and acquaintances about their husbands. I think it’s along the same lines as complaining about your kids.

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P Ballard January 12, 2008 at 4:50 pm

just visited the site for the first time thru a random google search. don’t really know anything about you. just wanted to say that your picture with your child is absolutely gorgeous. Would you please share who took it in the hopes that I may use the same photographer for personal/ family photos? thanks. great website.

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