Jessica, I’ve gone through all those feelings too. At least mine paid the child support for this kid.

Life goes on. Let it. It gets better.

Carole´s last blog post…Fat Friday

http://raisinboychronicles.blogspot.com/2007/11/thanksgiving.html

My ex-husband was a drunk and a drug user. There are times when I wish he would have just walked out and left me alone with my boy. There are times when I am thankful that his dad wants to be with him unlike my own. There are times when I wish he would just get bored of his son and go away like everything else in his life.
There are times when I wish he would knock up his new wife so he could have another heir to his name.

I am a new single mom as of 60 days ago. My husband walked out on my soon to be 4 year old daughter and I.

She was born on Thanksgiving. I love her with every beat of my heart. He doesn’t. He adores her when she’s cute and cuddly and that’s it. He signed up for the quiet baby or better yet, he signed up for the puppy that you could play with and when you got tired of their antics, you could put them in the garage in their box and forget about them until tomorrow. Instead, he got a very high spirited girl with a will of iron. He berated her daily!

I too acted as the co-dependent by forever making sure that every decision I made for me, my girl, him or all of us would make him happier.

I too had the couch sleeper.

I too should have seen the signs.

The thing that gets me is that our men could have done it differently. They could have for one…stepped up to the plate and gotten marriage counseling with us…NO Way he said, never.

I don’t even “know” anyone who has walked out on their child. How do you do that? What does that tell you? It tells you that you wouldn’t even have a friend that would do this, therefore maybe we shouldn’t be “married” to them?

Okay I don’t want to hog the stage but please don’t be sad. it’s difficult to thank our men right now for the gifts that they brought to the table even though that is the evolved thing to do. I feel that since we need to heal our anger and hurt, maybe for now we should just thank the universe for our health. Our children haven’t been abducted like so many mother’s have, nor are so ill like so many children. We have them and they CHOSE us to be their mommies because we can pull them through this.

Thanks for listening.

P.S. My husband wasn’t a drinker but he marinated me in his daily baths of pessimism.
Also, I am a child of an alcoholic and I respond differently to so many things because of this and your pain and anger that you are enduring is SAVING her from being raised in the home of an alcoholic.

Peace2U
Kelly