Have you ever Googled your date?

by singlemomseeking on November 27, 2007

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Recently, I posted about Dating Sites for Single Moms and you had a lot to say (thanks!).

As promised, Karen from Online Dating is back. Remember: this woman wrote her entire dissertation at the University of Southern California on that topic exactly: “Online Dating.”

“Just how does a single mom get online and start dating?” Karen asks.

“Since I do not have any children myself, I passed this question onto my 23 year old sister whose husband had left her two years ago,” says Karen.

“My sister has two children. She works two jobs to make ends meet. She told me that after the divorce — and healing process, which took about a year — she decided to put herself back out out there. She told me that she met tons of guys who ‘just adored children’… but seemed to be out for a one-night stand only.”

Match.com and Yahoo! Personals were next for her. While she did meet some nice guys, they just weren’t what she was looking for. Her main concern was the safety and well-being of her children so she made this very clear from the get-go that she had a responsibility to them first.”

“How does a single mom safely date online?”

“Be on your toes at all times and trust your instinct. If you meet a potential match online, make it clear to him that you have children and they are your priority in life.”

You can also ‘research’ the men you are talking to. One good way is to get their email addresses and any other personal information you can. Take his email address and go to Google and enter it in. You would be surprised at the quantity and quality of information you can find out about someone by just Googling his email address. If his email address does not turn up any matches in Google, then try deleting the “@….com” part.”

For example: If the email address is “greatdad123@aol.com,” then you would take out the ‘@’ part and see what ‘greatdad123′ would produce in a search. If the guy you are talking to is not Internet savvy, then his entire online life could be presented to you for your review. Chat forum postings, eBay listings, personal websites….anything and anywhere that this person has entered his email address in, chances are Google will pick it up.”

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Do tell: Have you ever Googled a man before a date?

P.S. Over the past few years, I’ve never gone out on a date until I’ve Googled him first! Of course, I’ve had the tables turned, when he has Googled me, too. Oh boy.

UPDATE: WikiWorldBook is a new site to find out who is Googling YOU.

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Single Mom Seeking… » Archive » He doesn’t like being No. 2
December 13, 2007 at 2:13 pm

{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }

kb November 27, 2007 at 7:34 pm

I look them up in the Wisconsin Circuit Court Access online. It’s open to the public and you’d be amazed at what you find. If I’m lucky there will be a divorce, maybe a speeding ticket, and that’s it. I’ve also been told by men that they’ve looked me up and I have no problem with that.

I won’t go on a date (meeting) until I have their last name and can do the check. On the flip side, I’ve met men without them knowing my last name, which I find odd on their part.

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Lexi's Mom November 27, 2007 at 7:53 pm

I’ve only had one date since my husband and I separated, so I’m probably not the best person to respond to this. But I did look him up, or rather the schools he went to, because he said he had two degrees, a BA and a Masters, but they were both from schools that I had never heard of. So I actually looked the schools up, and found that they did exist.

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Kvetch November 27, 2007 at 7:59 pm

Absolutely! You can sometimes find information at company websites as well — but believe it or not, some people are still un-google-able! Once all I could find was the high school track team record of a guy’s daughter. :)

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Amy November 27, 2007 at 8:16 pm

I am the WORST on trust. Now you have to PROOVE to me you say who you are. I instantly think every word out of their mouth could be a lie. I have a family member who works for the WA State Patrol. He runs background checks for me. I Google, I “Myspace”, I friendster” , you name it I research it. If I find a lie I ask them about it and if the answer doesn’t match up they are GONE.

I found out 9 months after my daughter was born that her father had a wrap sheet 3 pages long! He had 3 DUI’s and was facing #4 when I found all this out. He had a FELONY assault! I had a child with this man and had NO CLUE. Unless you do your homework you may not know. They could have children, a wife, a felony, a history of drugs, or pedophile charges.

We now have the technology and tools to protect ourselves and our children…..I say USE IT!

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Lexi's Mom November 27, 2007 at 8:40 pm

Amy,
You’re absolutely right. If I was “out there” in the dating world or even trying to get back out there, I would definitely do my homework. There are just too many liars and jerks out there. And we won’t even talk about the pedophiles and other perverts. I had a close girlfriend who believed (or wanted to believe) everything her beau told her while I saw right through him, being the nontrusting soul that I am. When she found out everything that he had lied to her about, she had a breakdown and had to be hospitalized. All of that, while unfortunate, could have been avoided had she been more cautious and not so naive. (I felt awful for her and helped her through it because of the good natured kind of person that she is. But boy, did she learn a lesson!)

Like you said, it’s so easy to find out information nowadays, so I think women are smart to do some investigating, sooner, rather than later. Thank goodness you and your child are ok!

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Dee November 27, 2007 at 9:07 pm

Yep…. did it, will do it again, would suggest everyone do it. Google yourself to see what they might find out about you too.

It’s not always bad things you’ll find either. One guy I looked up, I found info about an award he received, saying what a great guy he was.

I can deal with what I know a lot easier than with what I don’t know.

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singlemomseeking November 28, 2007 at 6:35 am

kb: Whoa, I had no idea. The online court system. Good one! I’m going to check that out her in Cali!

Lexi’s mom: great, you’re on the ball! Go mama.

Amy: I agree… USE IT! Amen.

Dee: Indeed, if we want our kids to be informed and knowledgeable, we’ve got to be role models for them, right?

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Hanie November 29, 2007 at 3:49 am

Yeap, Ive googled (and did a few stuff) and that was when I found out a few things about my ex. His name is just on about every sex site available on earth, it was sickening. His friendster profile looks like a dating site.

I will definitely do some research when the time comes for me to go into the dating scene again. Its amazing at how trails of infos are left behind the minute you log in.

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Susan November 29, 2007 at 11:36 pm

Yep, I Google, but unless there are obvious warning signs, sometimes Google doesn’t do a whole lot to fill in the blanks — like, oh, he ran a 5K last year and look at his time! As it is I can’t find more mundane things in Google, but I try it anyway.

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BJ October 3, 2008 at 4:32 am

On the other hand, how much better to know whether or not you have been Googled by your date?

This can be done by joining one of the growing number of online address books for people that place your name (on your profile) high up in the search engine results and provide a search alert service – for example either wikiworldbook.com or ziggs.com.

When someone Googles your name, the profile will be clearly visible in the search engine results and be an obvious target to investigate. The moment they have clicked your profile, you will be alerted by email with such information as the searchers geographical location plotted on a Google map, the keyword used to find you and the search engine being used.

Of course it won’t pick up every time you are being Googled because it depends on your profile being clicked – but if its truely you they are searching for, the chances are good they will click your profile.

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