I have a few close friends that I would trust my life with. The person that was my complete rock through the whole divorce and adjustment period was Carol. She never judged, even though she may have disagreed with some of my decisions. Oddly enough, she was a single mom from her son’s birth until he turned about 12. Then she married the love of her life.

Anyway, I ramble. Carol and I were beyond compatible. We finished each other’s sentences and became the closest of friends. We stuck by each other through anything and everything. Unfortunately life was never said to be fair and I lost her in July. She passed away after a battle with breast cancer. I feel honored to have had the time with Carol that I did and the whole relationship/experience has truly changed my life.

I think single motherhood has been a gift to me when it comes to the friendships in my life. I don’t have a lot of time for fluff and niceties and social acquaintances–I can say that all of those that I call “friend” are any that I would trust with the lives of my children in one moment.

How much more blessed can you be?

When I got pregnant, my daughter’s father ran the other way. Luckily, my friends didn’t. They’ve been there for me all these years. I grew up a military brat, so I didn’t know what it was like to have friends stick by you for so long until I grew up. It’s pretty cool. One of those friends who stood by me when I got pregnant ended up being my boyfriend for 3 years. Even though we broke up more than 7 years ago, we’re still close to this day. But what I realized when he and I parted ways was, I didn’t really have any girlfriends. There was nobody to talk about the heartbreak that breakup had caused.

So I joined Parents Without Partners. Through that group, I met several single mom friends who I bonded with immediately. We have watched each others kids grow up, seen each other through relationships, marriages, health crises, etc. I’m not sure what I’d do without those girls. The other day we all got together at our friends’ new house, and I watched as everyone grabbed my now preteen daughter and covered her with hugs and kisses. We’re a family in our own little way, and it’s pretty sweet.

While I hava a few close girlfriends (and many more close male friends), I can say unequivocally that the person wno has stuck by my side is my mother. While to this day I don’t talk to her much about how I feel about my “husband” and how much it hurt when he left me with our newborn child (who was born three months premature), she understands it, and supports me fully. (Of course if she could murder him and get away with it, she would have.)

I had to bounce back rather quickly after a high risk and very difficult pregnancy without the benefit of having my husband by my side, and the whole time my mom was there, from taking care of my cats to helping me pack for a move, to grocery shopping, to driving me back and forth to the hospital to see the baby when I couldn’t, to fielding difficult calls and questions from those around us when I couldn’t talk about the relationship without falling apart, to finally just leaving me alone when I needed to grieve on my own.

Even now that Lexi is older, she takes her to preschool, drives me to work (so that I don’t have to pay the astronomical parking fees), runs my errands while I’m at work, babysits at the last minute if needed (without complaint or hesitation!), listens to me whenever I need to talk, (about anything!), travels with us, and is our official “nanny.” She is a Godsend and we are both truly blessed to have her. I’ve never had a friend like her, and can’t imagine that I ever will.

My mother was the one who stuck with me through thick and thin including the moments when i felt sooooooooooooo afraid and alone. She rubbed my back and told me she loved me and we would go through this together. She told me that she love dme no matter what! and that I owuld be okay, to this day her love and support has been amazing!

I have to say my mom also. I really didn’t have many friends to begin with(which is a whole other story as to why).

When I broke down and told my mom that I was pregnant and that I was going to be doing this alone, her response was “Well you can either be devistated or think of it as a blessing, you arent getting younger, and at one time you didnt think you could have children”.

She was at the hospital everytime I was hospitalized in the last 2 months of pregnancy, she went into the surgery room(c section)with me. She was the first to actually see my daughter, and she was the proudest grandma ever, and still is. My father came only one time to the hospital before my daughter was born, and that was when they thought for sure I had had a stroke. He means well..but he just doesnt get it.

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