Louise Sloan did. And her book, Knock Yourself Up: No Man? No Problem! A Tell-All Guide to Becoming a Single Mom, comes out today.
Louise graciously agreed to be Single Mom Seeking’s guest today. (Thanks!) She has been a professional writer and editor for 20 years. She has written for publications including Glamour, Good Housekeeping, Self, Out, The Chicago Tribune, The San Francisco Bay Guardian. We started chatting — Louise is in NYC, I’m in the Bay Area — and I’m thrilled to introduce you… If you’re a single mom who knocked herself up, please comment here! I’m holding another book giveaway contest — and you’ll receive your own copy of Knock Yourself Up.
In Knock Yourself Up, Louise gives us an inside look at the growing trend of single mothers who are doing it all. In addition to chronicling her own journey to motherhood, Louise interviews other women who’ve started families on their own. Her book addresses everything from “Is it the right time?” to “How do I explain my decision to my child?”
Louise gave birth to Scott in June 2006. Today she describes her 15 month old son as “running around like crazy, climbing stairs and ladders… We had to quit yoga at about 10 months because I was having to spend the entire class chasing him to keep him from being overly affectionate with the newborns. My yoga teacher called him ‘the ambassador of love.’ ”
Having been a single mom for two years in NYC, I know that it can be a challenge. I asked Louise to give us a glimpse of her support network, which she says has “been almost entirely based in Manhattan!”
“It turns out that my single friends Sally and Jenny and my friends Kevin and Jeff, who are a couple, have been the most supportive since Scott has been born. They were all fantastic, welcoming Scott and inviting me over or out to dinner a lot.”
“My latest thing has been to do a nanny share with a really nice couple that lives two blocks away, who have a little girl the same age. I did it to save money and have a companion for Scott, but also because of the potential for building a relationship with neighborhood parents.”
“My friend, Rachel, who is the single mom by choice of an 8-year-old, says other single moms are the way to go, for camaraderie and support, much more so than coupled parents of any type. The coupled parenting experience is just so different and couples can get pretty insular. I’d say she’s right, based on my experience thus far. Gotta get some more single moms (or even dads) into my life!”
Of course, I wouldn’t let Louise get away without letting me know if she’s dating….
“I have been on a few dates with different people, but no flames have ignited. And I haven’t gone out looking for love–that’s never been my style and I’d be reluctant to spend $50 in babysitting and a night away from Scott for some blind date. But I do try to attend parties and events where I’d be likely to meet someone new, through friends. I’d love to be seeing someone but I have been so busy with work and the baby that I wouldn’t really have a ton of time for them. It occurs to me that that could actually be pretty healthy to start a relationship, though.”
P.S. I’m grateful to Sue Shapiro — our former journalism professor, one of my favorite authors (as well as one of the most generous people I know), for connecting me to Louise.
If you’re a single mom who knocked herself up, do tell:
How old were you? How long did it take for you to decide to “do it”? When did you give birth?… And, of course, any other details you’d like to share!
My Big Girl will pick the winner… I’ll send you your own copy of Knock Yourself Up.
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Great contest! I waited until I was 20. : p
When I was in my early 20′s, I had a job working for a pharmaceutical company that manufactured and sold fertility drugs. I was constantly in and out of fertility centers and although most of the patients at that time were “couples”, I was intrigued by the concepts. I never really saw myself as married, but as a mother, there was never a doubt. I made the decision early on that when the timing was right, I would go it alone and have a baby.
I’m 33 now and my son is 7 1/2 months old. He is the single most important thing in my life. I have wonderful friends and family, who embraced my plans and my son. I was proud of what I was doing and kept them involved from the start. My son is surrounded by strong role models, both male and female. He is a happy well loved baby.
As a society we need to worry a little less about single women bringing children into the world in a loving home and a little more about the countless children brought into loveless, abusive homes. After all its the quality of the parent that really counts, not the quantity.