Single mom celebrity actress Bridget Moynahan did.
Moynahan, 36, is the new single mom to 5-week-old John Edward Thomas Moynahan. (Notice that NFL beau Tom Brady is not part of his son’s namesake.)
Do tell: if you’re a single mom, does your kid have your last name? Why? Why not?
For a very thoughtful discussion about this — with thoughts on all sides — please see our recent post at Singlemommyhood about Whose last name do your kids have?
Photo: PRPhotos
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{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }
My kids use their dad’s (my ex’s) name. I don’t have a problem with that because we have a decent relationship and I’m fortunate that he’s an involved father. Me? I kept my married name for about a year because I was overwhelmed with every other change in becoming single again – and then one day it just annoyed the heck out of me when I was called it. Changed it back shortly thereafter to my maiden name. My daughter observed the difference about a year or so ago. I explained that a lot of times people use their dad’s last names and that’s why ours are different. Obviously this doesn’t work in all cases, but it fit ours –and it was true–and it got us onto another topic!
Yeah, she did it to spite Tom and it’s sad, really. She doesn’t give John his father’s last name, but you can be damn certain she’ll accept those fat child support checks each and every month….
I wasn’t married to my daughter’s father, nor did he have any interest in her when she was born. In the hospital, they asked me if I wanted to give her his last name. I said that I didn’t think I could, since he hadn’t bothered to show up and sign the birth certificate. The nurse said that I could give her whatever last name I wanted. I didn’t realize that. Still, I gave her mine. I knew it would make things easier (I’m sure her teachers would have always called me Mrs. F…., assuming we had the same last name. I have enough trouble with being called Mrs. anyway, as opposed to Ms. or Miss) and that he didn’t deserve her as his namesake.
I didn’t give my daughter her father’s name either. I was really pleased when I read that she didn’t either. Now that my daughter is in school I’m so glad I made that choice when I did. It is a lot easier to have the same name! At school, at doctor’s, extracurricular activities, etc. My opinion is that the baby’s name should match the mothers name. If he wasn’t willing to give her his last name she was correct in not naming her baby after him.
Great to hear from all of you! Thanks!
Disclaimer: I DID give my baby girl her father’s name at birth… But after he stepped out the door, there was some confusion, i.e., at the doctor’s office.
Over the years, it made sense to give M my last name (and I kicked myself for not giving her my name at birth).
So I went to court, paid the fees, spoke to the judge… and that was that. He pounded his gavel and M was given my last name.
Thanks for the insight!
I need your help, i made the mistake of giving my daughter her father’s last name. he was in Iraq, and i was stupid enough to believe he would be there when he came back. I NEED to know how to changer her name to match mine. Having our last names not match is heartbreaking, not to mention all the legal difficulties. She is 18 months now, and i need to get this changed before she gets any older. Please help
How silly to think that just because a woman does not automatically name her child after it’s father that she should not accept child support. I don’t understand what one has to do with the other.
If you father a child, you should financially support that child.
There is no reason a child must carry a father’s last name. At least not logically.
Both of my children have my last name and I was married when I had them.
I don’t believe in living status quo. I question things and one question I had was why do the children that I bear and will do the majority of the raising for have to carry any name besides my own? They use their father’s names as middle names. But for day to day, they use my name.
I believe etiquette says that if you’re married, the children should assume the father’s name. I do agree that it’s definitely easier if mother and child have the same last name, but I also agree that it’s the mother’s choice—particularly if the father isn’t in the picture.
I think it is a disgrace when some parents end up changing their child’s last name what a way to confuse the poor child one day I’m a — then next I’m someone else craziness. My husbands Ex I suspect has done this and now the children go by her new husbands name when up till 8 or so they were under their fathers name I think it creates psychological damage to a child. And is not fair to the father who is not allowed to see his children because the mother doesn’t want him too its sick and makes me soooooooo angry..
As far as me being a male,I realy don’t care if my child carries my last name or not for the simple fact she bringing the child into the world,why not let her have the privelage to choose.All said and done that child will still be mines and hers.If you ask me then I would say that the child should carry the mothers last name if the couple isn’t married.I just had a son by this girl I didn’t even know for two months.She has a boyfriend and we all cool.I come by and visit my child and even conversate with this man,for the sake of my son.And it not a disgrace to change a childs last name.If he aint there for the child why not change it,I’m sure it aint killing nobody
I’m so confused. I have a 3 month old daughter, and she has my ex’s last name. We were togther up until i was 7 months pregnant. And the deal was that she would have his last name as long as he was a good father and helped support her and was there when she was born etc. etc. So he shows up when she was born, then he’s m.i.a. He comes around when it’s good for him which has only been twice and she’s 3 months old. It’s so frustrating to me to have people call me by his last name just because its hers. How should i go about getting her name changed? This really angers me! I need advice please.
I think even if you are single and the father has been there from day one i think the baby should have the fathers last name. I was a single mom one time and i give my son my last name because his father had nothing to do with him. Now i have a son that has a child by this girl and she told him that she was going to give him my sons last name and she didn’t. I think it is wrong for a woman not to give her child the fathers last name when he has been there the whole time she was pregnant and is still there.