My kids use their dad’s (my ex’s) name. I don’t have a problem with that because we have a decent relationship and I’m fortunate that he’s an involved father. Me? I kept my married name for about a year because I was overwhelmed with every other change in becoming single again - and then one day it just annoyed the heck out of me when I was called it. Changed it back shortly thereafter to my maiden name. My daughter observed the difference about a year or so ago. I explained that a lot of times people use their dad’s last names and that’s why ours are different. Obviously this doesn’t work in all cases, but it fit ours –and it was true–and it got us onto another topic!

Yeah, she did it to spite Tom and it’s sad, really. She doesn’t give John his father’s last name, but you can be damn certain she’ll accept those fat child support checks each and every month….

I wasn’t married to my daughter’s father, nor did he have any interest in her when she was born. In the hospital, they asked me if I wanted to give her his last name. I said that I didn’t think I could, since he hadn’t bothered to show up and sign the birth certificate. The nurse said that I could give her whatever last name I wanted. I didn’t realize that. Still, I gave her mine. I knew it would make things easier (I’m sure her teachers would have always called me Mrs. F…., assuming we had the same last name. I have enough trouble with being called Mrs. anyway, as opposed to Ms. or Miss) and that he didn’t deserve her as his namesake.

I didn’t give my daughter her father’s name either. I was really pleased when I read that she didn’t either. Now that my daughter is in school I’m so glad I made that choice when I did. It is a lot easier to have the same name! At school, at doctor’s, extracurricular activities, etc. My opinion is that the baby’s name should match the mothers name. If he wasn’t willing to give her his last name she was correct in not naming her baby after him.

Great to hear from all of you! Thanks!

Disclaimer: I DID give my baby girl her father’s name at birth… But after he stepped out the door, there was some confusion, i.e., at the doctor’s office.

Over the years, it made sense to give Mae my last name (and I kicked myself for not giving her my name at birth).

So I went to court, paid the fees, spoke to the judge… and that was that. He pounded his gavel and Mae was given my last name.

Thanks for the insight!

How silly to think that just because a woman does not automatically name her child after it’s father that she should not accept child support. I don’t understand what one has to do with the other.
If you father a child, you should financially support that child.
There is no reason a child must carry a father’s last name. At least not logically.
Both of my children have my last name and I was married when I had them.
I don’t believe in living status quo. I question things and one question I had was why do the children that I bear and will do the majority of the raising for have to carry any name besides my own? They use their father’s names as middle names. But for day to day, they use my name.

I believe etiquette says that if you’re married, the children should assume the father’s name. I do agree that it’s definitely easier if mother and child have the same last name, but I also agree that it’s the mother’s choice—particularly if the father isn’t in the picture.