I was once a single mom- (not anymore). I met my future (and now) husband at a bible study- The man I married at one point and time told me that he would NEVER marry a woman who had a child. At any rate- he did marry me and 2 years after he ADOPTED my child as his own. I just want to say- there is a MAN out there for you. If it weren;t for the bible study that we were a part of I would’ve NEVER found him.

Casual Relationships? I would say yes and no– in the yes aspect- its not all about sex - sometimes we (women) just want to know why men do stupid things. And for No, sometimes it is just all about sex.

Sigh…thank you Jeff.

I was only attempting to explain about how someone could scare someone else off by overly discussing one topic on the first few dates.

I didn’t mean to offend you or anyone else with a weird analogy to a guy with a cat - I just use weird analogies.

I have never been interested in a father-figure for my kids. A good role model? A nice guy who treats their mom well? Sure. Casual in terms of fly-by-night? No. Casual in terms of no long-term commitment? Yes.

I detest it when men ask about my kids right away and tell me they know that kids are “part of the package.” Those are the ones that never respond when I say, “no, they’re not.” Creepy.

Ages of kids matter too. My kids are 15 and 12, a whole different ball of wax than babies.

What is the deal and what’s the problem with dating a single mom? At my age I find it much more discerting that someone DOESN’T have kids than that they do!

I’m also tickled to hear where single moms met their partners. Good for you. Congrats to your family.

Eric, I can be on the serious side sometimes. The Cat and Kid analogy is kind of funny. Thanks for putting yourself out there!

Kvetch, I’m still trying to figure out how to deal with the Kid-Questions. On the one hand, I don’t want to date a man who’s completely uninterested in the fact that I have a Kid. If he never asks one question, it’s a red flag for me. On the other hand, I hear what you’re saying about a man who asks a lot of Kid questions upfront. Like online, even before you’ve met him. It gives me the creeps, too.

How about other single moms? How do you handle the Kid questions from men you don’t know?

This is only tangentially related…and more of a “don’t” for single moms seeking:

A friend told me about a single mom on Match.com whose profile pic was of her in the hospital bed holding her baby right after birth. Unbelievable! I wonder what is going through the minds of the guys who wink at her…”I’m looking at this picture and wondering about your episiotomy scar…”? “I can tell by the looks of you, your baby will be well fed…”?

And I totally agree with Kvetch’s assessment of the “casual” situation.

Funny funny funny! Love to hear of other single moms seeking, finding, exploring! I applaude you all… truly LIVING, and not seeing single-motherhood as a stigma/doomsday sentence… Congrats!

So…you’re saying I shouldn’t have told that story about tearing during the birth when we went out to dinner?

Oops. Oh well.

“All right single moms, here’s your chance educate Jeff — and his thousands of daily single guy readers out there. I’m counting on you….”

I’ve been a single mom for over 4 years (and, frankly, there’s no end in sight, but that’s another story!) So here are a few tips, guys:

1. Ask about my kids and their interests. It doesn’t have to be your first or even second question because I want you to get to know ME, but my children are part of my life and very important to me. If things progress, we’re a package deal.

2. If you don’t have children yourself, don’t expect me to tell you the complete truth about having them - that some days I really just want to hide in the closet from my sweet darlings or that I yell like a drill sergeant to get us out the door on time. If we date long enough you’ll find this out first hand. If you do have children/step-children, you’ll already know these things.

3. DON:T ask me if I can have more kids (presumably with you) — at least not until we’ve known each other a while. Just last week a guy asked me if I wanted more kids (I don’t know, maybe) and then he asked me if I COULD HAVE more kids! This was approximately 7 minutes into our “relationship” (by phone) — he just wanted to know if I had my tubes tied or anything along those lines. (See my blog for more details!)

4. DON’T ask me right off the bat to change my schedule with my ex so we can spend every weekend together. If it’s meant to last we’ll get to this. One guy asked me this in our first (and last) phone conversation.

5. Reading #3 and 4, I’m beginning to wonder about you all, frankly. Or me…

6. You can meet my kids when I think it is appropriate. Don’t rush it. We need to get to know each other as the hot, interesting adults we are.

7. I want you to respect and understand me as your object of desire. I want to feel sexy and desirable. I just may be tired after going to a few soccer games, Brownies, and homework.

SMS, glad to have found your site! I’ll stop back to read more.