Married and living apart

by singlemomseeking on August 22, 2010

Living apart together

So, when are you guys moving in together?

Our friends and family have been asking us this question a lot more these days. It’s understandable: we’re getting married this fall… and we haven’t figured out how we’re going to live together. We know we want to, we’re just not sure how.

“It’s under negotiation,” that Lucky Guy likes to tell people, as he gives me a big smile.

And it’s true: every day for the past few months, we’ve been talking about all the various scenarios in which we might live together. They include buying a home together, moving into one of our homes, adding on…

In the meantime, we’re “living apart together.” Otherwise known as “LAT.” Supposedly, this is a popular trend among European couples. And the idea is sort of rubbing off on me — at least for now.

The biggest stress right now is our overhead — and the fact that we go back and forth a lot. Between one mortgage and one rent – not to mention our utilities – we’ve got a lot on our plates. Don’t get me wrong: we’ve been house-hunting weekend after weekend, as we consider buying a place together. But here’s where it gets complicated:

Currently, he owns his small home, and I rent mine. They’re both one-bedrooms, which are five miles from each other. When we stay at either place, it’s quite cozy. Yet, I’ve got with a growing tween, so living in a small home together is going to get cramped quickly.

Besides, my kid and I have moved a lot since she was born (five times and counting). Although I’m SO excited to get married, I’m not any rush to toss another transition on her. And although I do my best to stay positive about packing – and unpacking boxes – moving just makes me pull my hair out.

Add to this the fact that I love our little home and our neighborhood… and I’m just not in a hurry.

Does anyone else relate? Got any ideas? I’m all ears.

{ 27 comments }

Finding The Muse

August 15, 2010

tIf you’ve been following me on Twitter, then you know that I’ve been on the road for more than a week. It all started with a cross-country trip to BlogHer in New York — with my daughter and that Lucky Guy along for the ride! (Yes, those two had a ball in the hotel lobby [...]

9 comments Read the full article →

Snapshot: Are you still a single mom after you get remarried?

August 9, 2010

Sondra from Happy Healthy Hip Parenting has been a single parent cheerleader for as long as I’ve been blogging. She is a Certified Parent Educator and Life Coach and San Diego’s Parenting Examiner. So, when when I heard that Sondra — who’s the mom of a six-year-old son — was getting remarried, I asked if [...]

26 comments Read the full article →

Snapshot: How one couple said their vows

August 1, 2010

I first “met” Kelli when she commented on my blog back in 2008. That’s when she honestly shared her story here: she was the 39-year-old mother of two children (who are biracial like my daughter). She was happily married for 13 years, when, she says, “my husband relapsed into alcoholism very abruptly and left us [...]

13 comments Read the full article →

Ground, wrong

July 27, 2010

If there’s one thing that men in my past have complained about, it’s this: “Rachel, you always make mountains out of molehills.” And I hate to admit this, but they were right. I’m easily anxious. I often worry about germs, tomorrow, or disappointing someone with a work deadline. My mind gets stuck on that “What [...]

16 comments Read the full article →

Snapshot: When a remarried dad adopts his new wife’s son

July 18, 2010

Some of you might remember Luke from the TLC dating reality show for single parents, “Must Love Kids.” Months later, Luke when fought hard to save his sister, Shayna, as she battled breast cancer, I also wrote about his impressive perseverance. Recently, I got in touch with Luke just before he was deployed again with [...]

15 comments Read the full article →

Designing your own wedding invites

July 14, 2010

Yes, I know: I could have taken the easier — and less rocky– road by walking into a stationary store and choosing an already-made letterpress design for our wedding invitations. You wouldn’t be the first to tell me that I often make things more complicated than necessary. Yet, thanks to you (and the Lucky Guy’s [...]

8 comments Read the full article →